Status report Page 5,209

I'd like to report that I've had absolutely no problems whatsoever with Stagecoach buses since Wednesday...not that I've been on one since Wednesday.

If only Arthur C Clarke was still alive he could perhaps solve the mystery of buses simply disappearing from digital timetable without warning. I didn't think Bermuda was a stop on this route...

Clearly this bus 'stop' isn't fit for purpose...

Ooo, I like this driver actually - he does have some recognition of the concept 'urgency' to the point that a youth was nearly sent tumbling down the stairs due to erratic braking.

Ha! When I finally got on a bus I scowled at the driver - that showed him!

Agh....but....pfffft.... I wait ages, a bus comes, I get on, it then waits nearly 10 minutes at the next stop as two further buses sail by.... I'm sure Stagecoach are sponsored by drug companies specialising in heart conditions. What's worse is that the driver is jolly and I smiled back when I boarded! They know how to mess with the mind these guys.

If you had a black eye would you wear heavy mascara and eyeliner too? I thought a Panda had just got on the bus.

Following on from the suggestion that I write a bus related sitcom (not a new idea I think you'll find) I have two characters to add to the lady who had a hand drawn pirate eye patch yesterday. First we have a woman with enough rings piercing her bottom lip to hang a shower curtain and Jesus is also here - he works at HMV.

Funnily enough I did have an idea of a sitcom set primarily at a bus stop but wasn't convinced it had legs...which is ironic as that's precisely what you'd need if your bus failed to turn up.

Bus rant #3614. If a passenger waits for 14 minutes for a bus operating a 10 minute service and when one does eventually arrive it waits for a further 5 minutes what does that tell you? It means either a) the previous bus has gone missing b) that it left early. The only certainties in life are clearly death and that Stagecoach will offer a crumby service.

"Hey, tell you what - let's just remove the 1747 bus from the digital timetable because it's already late. We'll go straight on to the 1757 and see if that shows up..."

Stagecoach - I can't bring myself to waste any more words on this joke of a company than saying their name alone...hang on...

Off to London. Missed my bus in one part of the village but managed to run and head it off at the pass some 15 mins later. That's the bonkers Stagecoach bus route for you.

Bus late again...oh, and as if by magic, a surly bus driver appears

You wait ages for a bus then none come at once

I wonder if the guy across the aisle is one of a set of triplets - with a nose like he's got they'd make a smashing set of darts.

Jesus, Bobby Charlton and Natasha Kaplinsky all at the bus stop today, at least I think it was them. Are they going green or have they hit on hard times?

On the bus with Hollie. She has just described Hot Dog sausages as 'Wet Dog in a Tin'