British Comedy Guide

Status report Page 5,198

Chip's noticed the neighbour has put up a massive marquee in the back garden. Eejit.

Quote: George Kaplan @ August 2 2013, 8:32 PM BST

Oh dear. George has just noticed this in the General, General Thread and now fears he will be smote by the mighty chip.

I shouldn't worry, zooo's been on the list since 2006 and she's still unsmoten.

Ben tried a polo shirt on in River Island earlier and liked the fit, but noticed the collar was a bit frayed. There were no more in his size on the rails, so he asked the checkout girl if they had any others out back. She got someone to bring another out, but the collar was frayed in the exact same place and some of the stitching had come out further up the collar! They sent for a further replacement and, thankfully, this one was acceptable.

I have just tried to make cinder toffee, on the basis that there is a domestic goddess inside me just bursting to get out.

Turns out, you should NOT just guess the amount of bicarb of soda you pop into the boiling sugar.

I now have burnt sugar all over my kitchen. Including the ceiling.

Sounds like a bastard to clean up, Jennie!

Ben just tried to use a tin opener on a tin with a ring pull. He's not sure how his ego can ever recover.

Quote: Ben @ August 3 2013, 2:33 PM BST

Ben just tried to use a tin opener on a tin with a ring pull. He's not sure how his ego can ever recover.

Happened to me a few days ago. Held the tin upside down so I couldn't see the ring...incredibly annoying and even degrading (if the opener is rusty doesn't work properly).

Quote: Ben @ August 3 2013, 2:05 PM BST

Ben tried a polo shirt on in River Island earlier and liked the fit, but noticed the collar was a bit frayed. There were no more in his size on the rails, so he asked the checkout girl if they had any others out back. She got someone to bring another out, but the collar was frayed in the exact same place and some of the stitching had come out further up the collar! They sent for a further replacement and, thankfully, this one was acceptable.

You had me worried for a few seconds. It must have been pretty tense.

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Cheapskate that I am, I'd have asked for a discount instead.

Lee doesn't like living in a seaside resort in the summer.

Quote: Ben @ August 3 2013, 2:05 PM BST

Ben tried a polo shirt on in River Island earlier and liked the fit, but noticed the collar was a bit frayed. There were no more in his size on the rails, so he asked the checkout girl if they had any others out back. She got someone to bring another out, but the collar was frayed in the exact same place and some of the stitching had come out further up the collar! They sent for a further replacement and, thankfully, this one was acceptable.

I'll give it one wash, then it'll be frayed like the others. Teary

Quote: keewik @ August 3 2013, 3:54 PM BST

I'll give it one wash, then it'll be frayed like the others. Teary

Then just pretend it's vintage.

Gordon is going to watch a match of his hometown team FC Basel tonight.

Ben is about to order some Pizza Hut goodness.

Will Cam is back from his holiday in Florida :(

Welcome back, Willy!

Quote: Will Cam @ August 3 2013, 10:08 PM BST

Will Cam is back from his holiday in Florida :(

Welcome back, you must have the holiday blues! Did you do Disney?

On another note, just found out my friend's partner has been cheating on her. I don't get cheating. It makes me angry. If you are that unhappy, LEAVE.

Quote: Jennie @ August 3 2013, 10:24 PM BST

On another note, just found out my friend's partner has been cheating on her. I don't get cheating. It makes me angry. If you are that unhappy, LEAVE.

I don't think people always cheat because they're unhappy. Sometimes it's just greed. Not always helped by 8 pints either. Or so I hear. :)

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