I was once asked at a job interview 'What things make you laugh?' I replied, "funny things."
I didn't get the job.
Another time, to the question 'What's your biggest fault?" I answered that "I can be overconfident. When do you want me to start."
I didn't get that job either.
What do kids say when you take the register these days?
Is it here sir?
Quote: Rob H @ January 3 2013, 11:33 AM GMTOr if you'd replied, 'Oi Bitchface, why don't you come round here and suck on my big fat cock.'
I bet Ofsted make you consider v the offer
Quote: chipolata @ January 3 2013, 11:35 AM GMTAt a job interview once, while discussing communication skills, I told two women that I was "excellent at oral." I didn't get the job.
Was it the creepy way you followed the line with "Heh heh heh. Nuddge nudge wink wink."
Quote: Rob H @ January 3 2013, 11:33 AM GMTOr if you'd replied, 'Oi Bitchface, why don't you come round here and suck on my big fat cock.'
This is not something I feel I could say to someone getting married in 6 months time. Her fiancee is a big bugger too...
Quote: Tuumble @ January 3 2013, 11:54 AM GMT
This is not something I feel I could say to someone getting married in 6 months time. Her fiancee is a big bugger too...
I'm sure he also has an excellent sense of humour.
Has a sore tooth/gum. Hope I just sratched my gum but the more I think of something worse the more niggly it gets.
Quote: Rob H @ January 3 2013, 11:39 AM GMTAnother time, to the question 'What's your biggest fault?" I answered that "I can be overconfident. When do you want me to start."
That's brilliant 
I was offered an interview a few years ago in Cambridge, a city about 40 miles from where I live. I was incredibly skint at the time and can't drive for medical reasons so I had to scrape the funds together to make the trip by train.
I arrived just as the heavens opened and shortly after discovered that public transport was in chaos due to roadworks. I didn't have enough money for a taxi so that option was not open to me.
I decided to try and walk it as it wasn't that far and was soon on the right road...but heading in the wrong direction. When I realised my mistake I was was certain to be late so I called the prospective employer to let them know. They still wanted me to come but I was so disheartened (and damp) I didn't see the point so I cancelled.
I emailed to apologise but no offer to reschedule was forthcoming.
I think if your prospective employer had known you'd travelled all that way, got lost and called to say you'd be late, yet then cancelled when you were so close and they were still wanting to see you, I don't blame them not not rescheduling.
Quote: Gerry McDonnell @ January 3 2013, 1:18 PM GMTThat's brilliant
Thanks.
The interviewer didn't think so. He just looked a bit confused, then said gently, 'This is an interview to assess your suitability.' I think my response was the less than Wildean, 'Oh.'
Quote: L.E. @ January 3 2013, 2:27 PM GMTI think if your prospective employer had known you'd travelled all that way, got lost and called to say you'd be late, yet then cancelled when you were so close and they were still wanting to see you, I don't blame them not not rescheduling.
Neither do I!
I was professional in that apologised but I knew another offer to meet was never going to be forthcoming. I was actually glad because it took the decision out of my hands because I wasn't really bothered about the job.
I was sort of head hunted for it but it would've been a side ways step into an industry in which I had no interest. I think I was more seducted by the thought of being wanted rather than any great desire to do the role.
The upshot was I had as a bad vibe about it all - I just wanted to get out of the city because it had all been an utter disaster.
Quote: Rob H @ January 3 2013, 11:39 AM GMTI was once asked at a job interview 'What things make you laugh?' I replied, "funny things."
I didn't get the job.
Another time, to the question 'What's your biggest fault?" I answered that "I can be overconfident. When do you want me to start."
I didn't get that job either.
I think my answer would have been San Andreas
Quote: sootyj @ January 3 2013, 8:57 PM GMTI think my answer would have been San Andreas
The San Andreas fault is a valley in the US.
Quote: sootyj @ January 3 2013, 8:57 PM GMTI think my answer would have been San Andreas
The San Andreas fault is a valley in the US.
Yup it's not my fault!
Quote: Tuumble @ January 3 2013, 10:31 AM GMTJust innocently used the following line in a reply to an email:
"On my desk when you want it"
Hmm, I could've worded that a little less suggestively. I only meant that artwork proof was on my desk for when my (female) colleague wanted to see it. Some people have dirty minds...
Didn't you post about trying to shag Jimmy Saville at work?
Tuumble are you a well man?
Chip found a confused wasp bumbling about the kitchen today.
What do wasps eat?
Quote: zooo @ January 3 2013, 11:07 PM GMTWhat do wasps eat?
Jam? I know as a child my mom used to make horrific killing jars filled with jam and water. Wasps would crawl in through holes in the lid and die in a sea of other dead and dying wasps (and ocasional flies).
I let mine out of the window, even though it will probably die in the cold.