British Comedy Guide

Status report Page 4,804

They're muck-spreading today.
The whole world smells like Rab.C.Nesbitt's arse-crack.

Sick

Quote: Lazzard @ September 12 2012, 12:27 PM BST

They're muck-spreading today.
The whole world smells like Rab.C.Nesbitt's arse-crack.

Sick

Hmm. How would you know that?

Quote: Oldrocker @ September 12 2012, 12:22 PM BST

There's a bloke next door digging out their garden, ready for a new drive, with a little digger machine that keeps j-j-j-j jiggling him about !

He's putting all the soil into a skip.

They've just brought him out a mug of tea and some biscuits. Can't quite see what sort, could be digestives.

Those net curtains of yours are a twitching.

Quote: keewik @ September 12 2012, 12:37 PM BST

Hmm. How would you know that?

I live here.

:)

Quote: sootyj @ September 12 2012, 12:40 PM BST

Those net curtains of yours are a twitching.

Why do you think my PC is up a corner by the front window?

I live in a cul de sac and there's not much goes on that I don't know about I can tell you !

Quote: Oldrocker @ September 12 2012, 12:22 PM BST

There's a bloke next door digging out their garden, ready for a new drive, with a little digger machine that keeps j-j-j-j jiggling him about !
He's putting all the soil into a skip.
They've just brought him out a mug of tea and some biscuits. Can't quite see what sort, could be digestives.

Use your binoculars to find out what sort of biscuits they are. I need to know which sort to buy for when the digging and jiggling starts in my garden soon.

Quote: Loopey @ September 12 2012, 1:55 PM BST

Use your binoculars to find out what sort of biscuits they are. I need to know which sort to buy for when the digging and jiggling starts in my garden soon.

Almost certainly digestives.

However be careful of the skip size you get !

He's filled the mini skip and there's half as much again that won't go in.

Oh. Their visitors have just left in a taxi. She was the one that made the tea so I don't suppose he'll get any more now . .

Another skip has arrived !

Quote: Oldrocker @ September 12 2012, 2:10 PM BST

Almost certainly digestives.

However be careful of the skip size you get !

He's filled the mini skip and there's half as much again that won't go in.

Oh. Their visitors have just left in a taxi. She was the one that made the tea so I don't suppose he'll get any more now . .

We are limited to what size skip we can have cos of where we have to put it. It's going to be a several skips job.

Could you take him some tea and cake and find out everything about the job? I want to know his name, shoe size, what the drive is going to be finished with - pavers, concrete, shingle? I haven't had such an interesting afternoon in ages, although I will probably watch Shane in a minute so that will pass a little time.

Well, atm the skip driver and the j-j-jjiggler are leaning on the new skip having a chat . . .

The front of the house was half lawn and half tarmac drive so the lawn's gone and I was under the impression it was all going to be tarmac but the new bit doesn't look deep enough for hardcore and tarmac and there are a couple of pallets of blocks on the drive but I assumed they were the edging blocks for the tarmac so don't know really . . .

The area is about 20' x 12' and that's taken 11/2 little skips.

Skip driver gone and j-j-jiggler is loading skip no.2.

Rain stopped play.

Quote: Oldrocker @ September 12 2012, 2:36 PM BST

Well, atm the skip driver and the j-j-jjiggler are leaning on the new skip having a chat . . .

The front of the house was half lawn and half tarmac drive so the lawn's gone and I was under the impression it was all going to be tarmac but the new bit doesn't look deep enough for hardcore and tarmac and there are a couple of pallets of blocks on the drive but I assumed they were the edging blocks for the tarmac so don't know really . . .

The area is about 20' x 12' and that's taken 11/2 little skips.

Skip driver gone and j-j-jiggler is loading skip no.2.

You should have gone to Liverpool, Olrocker!

(It was Liverpool and it was you? Eh? )

Quote: chipolata @ September 12 2012, 3:11 PM BST

You should have gone to Liverpool, Olrocker!

(It was Liverpool and it was you? Eh? )

I know Indolent twat that I am !

Quote: Oldrocker @ September 12 2012, 3:10 PM BST

Rain stopped play.

Aw, just when it was getting exciting. Never mind, Shane was just as good as I remembered. :|

There was a big moth in AJGO's sink that she tried to gently take out but it's wings were wet and are stuck together so I'm adopting it as a house-pet. What do big moths like to eat?

Quote: AJGO @ September 12 2012, 5:50 PM BST

There was a big moth in AJGO's sink that she tried to gently take out but it's wings were wet and are stuck together so I'm adopting it as a house-pet. What do big moths like to eat?

Lettuce or woolly pullovers in my experience !

Pirate

They have ruined 3 or 4 of my pullies this year.

Share this page