The stupid thing is, I need a full-time job before I can afford to move out. I just GOT one, but I couldn't take it because I haven't moved out.
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Scats, you know this is totally wrong, right? Surely you're grown up enough to make your own decisions. Emotional manipulation shouldn't be used to attempt to keep your offspring safe.
I know this is nothing to do with me, but I've got myself all wound up about it now. Would you have to walk home from the tube via ghettos or something?
I know that it's horrible, Nat, honestly I do. And your scowly profile picture is emphasising it to me. But the alternative was taking the job he'd "never be happy with".
Quote: Nat Wicks @ June 13 2012, 3:39 PM BSTI know this is nothing to do with me, but I've got myself all wound up about it now. Would you have to walk home from the tube via ghettos or something?
I think he thinks the tube is bad enough. And the trains to my house. Believe me, I know that it's horrible. I probably shouldn't have complained about it here because I really do know, I just don't feel like there's anything I can do.
..but is it the job itself he's not happy with? Or the late hours?
The late hours.
And they can't give you earlier shifts I suppose?
So.. ask your prospective boss if he/she's prepared to help you with taxi/minicab costs? Would they be prohibitive?
It's in central London so they'd be crazyexpensive. I'd have to do a spread of shifts, and the manager said the latest I'd finish would be 11pm - early enough for the tubes. But it's just not gonna happen, so I have to get over it.
Oh poor Scats, I do feel for you, nothing is ever simple. But you are an adult now, isn't this issue going to arise all the time, if you want a job in a 'dodgy' or unfamiliar area? Or if you ever have to work late? Or if there's a change of route or transport problem or major event alert?
Couldn't you do the job including all the irritating phone calls for a month or so while you save money to move out? Could you find out if there's a co-worker who also walks to the tube after work?
What would your Dad actually do if you took the job?
You need to explain to him that you need to develop your independance, and you can't do that be being sheltered. If he is that concerned then he can, as someone else suggested, pick you up from late shifts, but he shouldn't make it impossible for you to take the job. It'll opnly breed resentment.
I'm guessing the job doesn't pay enough to mini-cab it home after the late shifts? But even then, I can imagine your Dad freaking out about his daughter getting into a strange car at night.
I suppose if anything did happen to you, your Dad just wouldn't be able to handle the guilt and would blame himself, so I can sort of see where he's coming from. It's his job as a Dad to keep his family safe and secure.
The only way out I can see from this would be to get a loan from your Dad and rent a room / flat near your new work. But I don't know if this would be financially or even emotionally possible.
Good luck though.
It's a shame as you've gone through the motions of actually getting the job.
On another note...I found the charger! I casually mentioned it to the kids on the way from school not expecting them to have a clue. My son 'oh that black thing in my bedroom' lol.
What a shame, Scat.
Your Dad's just being too overprotective rather than just difficult.
Sorry to hear it.
I already resent my parents for a lot of things. I wasn't expecting such a big reaction. He's my dad, but he's also a policeman. And he can't control all the rapists and murderers out there, but he can control me to some extent. Having argued or taken the job wouldn't have solved everything. I wouldn't have emerged like a phoenix in high heels with glossy hair, having defeated the constrictions of life at home with my parents. The arguments would never have stopped.
I have enough money to move out, but only if I got a full-time job quicksharp; and then we've actually got to find somewhere we can afford. I don't agree with being treated like this, honestly I don't. But I really wanted the job, and if I felt like I could take it then I would have. But it just wouldn't have worked.
My family can't afford to just drive into Central London to pick me up, or fork out for cabs to get me home. I wanted the job, and I do feel manipulated; but now I just feel like I've made the wrong decision and there's no real way to back out of it now. So I just wanted to have a moan, but I have to live with it.
I'm totally with RC/your Dad on this one. I personally would worry myself sick.
So.. split shifts, some of which finish at 11 pm. How many shifts per week would you have to travel home late?