I usually ask people to submit a photo and CV for their dog.
1 Pit bull, chav but probably quite dirty
2 Golden retriever, nice middle class types, very dirty
3 Chiuaha, disgusting pervert avoid at all costs.
Status report Page 3,359
Quote: Rob Wood @ January 21 2011, 11:43 AM GMTIf you have a load of CV's to sift you need to employ some unconventional techniques to narrow them down.
1.) Avoid employing unlucky people by throwing half of them away at random.
2.) Avoid employing sickly people by sniffing them and throwing away any that have the unmistakable stench of approaching death.
3.) Avoid employing fun-loving tikes who will turn up late by further sniffing CV's and throwing away any that smell of alcohol, smoke, coke, puff, twiglets or nougat. If you are uncertain, a good lick will also inform. Also watch out for "socialising" under hobbies.
4.) Avoid employing pretentious farts by throwing away any CV's that are printed on coloured paper. This isn't racism. It's just discriminating against people based on colours. It's...erm..chromism.
5.) Avoid employing anyone who isn't keeping up with the times by binning any CV's that aren't printed.That should see you right, but frankly it's a lot of work - most people just hang around in car parks, flash their lights and unzip.
Good luck.
Very good.
Quote: EllieJP @ January 21 2011, 11:06 AM GMTI have to do this, and I get some completely ridiculous CVs.
The thing I find hard is people think we have a warehouse attached and I get a lot of lovely old school letters from truck drivers looking for work.
Never beat my Super CV. Huge name took up 3/4 of page big cool graphic background. Didn't bother with previous work or any of that boring stuff.
Still didn't get the job in Tesco.
I'm in such an awful funk today 
Ugh! I feel like a zombie and not in a good way.
Brains! Brains! I want to mute your brains!
Quote: EllieJP @ January 21 2011, 10:20 AM GMTWhat was your old job?
This, that and the other. 
Ordered myself some headphones to cheer myself up.
Eating a free muffin.
The best kind.
Quote: Leevil @ January 21 2011, 4:20 PM GMTThis, that and the other.
Oh yeah, I remember.
Took the afternoon off. Should have done some housework before wife comes home. Trying to get the enthusiasm to get up.
Quote: Nat Wicks @ January 21 2011, 4:13 PM GMTI'm in such an awful funk today
What's wrong Wat Nicks
Quote: Leevil @ January 21 2011, 8:16 AM GMTNo, just your run-of-the-flour-mill bread.
I haven't been to sleep yet, slightly high-wired. Might have some pebbles soon. Been editing my CV for the past few hours. I f**king hate my CV.
Ah.
Still haven't slept. Feel f**king odd. May have more pebbles... How are you, Nilboid?
Quote: Will Cam @ January 21 2011, 4:24 PM GMTWhat's wrong Wat Nicks
Bereavment. Nought can be done until I go see my family tomorrow morning. Just going to sculk around and watch a lot of comedy today.
Sorry to hear that, Nat.
Poor Nat.
**Mental note not to be mean to Wicks**