Quote: john lucas 101 @ October 20 2010, 2:58 PM BSTIn the sea of sarcasm only the literal minded fool will float.
Status report Page 2,920
Tim has just awoken after his post-night shift rest, to discover he's caught this bloomin' bug that's going around. Well it's either a cold, or else whilst I slept someone snuck-in and began pipetting paint stripper down my throat, whilst seeing how many marshmallows they could fit up my nose.
Woe, how the artist is brought low! Dear Theo, please send money for Lempsip. 
If a Doc can get it, there's no hope for the rest of us! 
Get better soon, Tim. (both mentally and physically)
* Wipes Tim's brow with damp thing*
Reed Richard looks on disgusted
Sootyj gets no sympathy even though he is proper ill like Freddy Mercury or that other AIDS jockey
Cheers fellas.
Don't worry, I of course will be taking the proper, real medicine that actually cures things - not those f**king pointless sugar tablets that we dish out to you NHS scum. 
Quote: Tim Walker @ October 20 2010, 3:37 PM BSTCheers fellas.
Don't worry, I of course will be taking the proper, real medicine that actually cures things - not those f**king pointless sugar tablets that we dish out to you NHS scum.
So what do stethoscopes really do?
Quote: Leevil @ October 20 2010, 3:38 PM BSTSo what do stethoscopes really do?
You put them in your ears and they play a selection of programming from Radio 4.
Quote: Tim Walker @ October 20 2010, 3:43 PM BSTYou put them in your ears and they play a selection of programming from Radio 4.
Ahhh!
Quote: sootyj @ October 20 2010, 3:35 PM BSTReed Richard looks on disgusted
Sootyj gets no sympathy even though he is proper ill like Freddy Mercury or that other AIDS jockey
*Wipes sooty's brow with second hand thing*
Quote: Tim Walker @ October 20 2010, 3:37 PM BSTCheers fellas.
Don't worry, I of course will be taking the proper, real medicine that actually cures things - not those f**king pointless sugar tablets that we dish out to you NHS scum.
I bloody knew it! It's hard being a scum.
Quote: john lucas 101 @ October 20 2010, 3:44 PM BSTI bloody knew it! It's hard being a scum.
And putting our fingers up your bum/grabbing your balls? Serves no diagnostic purpose whatsoever. Merely done for your humiliation and our own amusement. And those neck collars? No benefit whatsoever, just used to make you look like a twat. And that bowel cancer screening programme...?
Owl cancer surelythat's a matter for the RSPB?
Someone has stoled all the clouds. I ain't seen any all day.
They're not over here either
Are you still in Bootshire, Carlin? I seen mentions of absconding from here. Do I smell that bad?