1PUTIN IS WEARING HIS JUDO WHITES AND DAVE MILLIBAND WALKS ON
DAVE
I'm David Milliband and with my killer brand of Miliband diplomacy I'll soon get the Russian bear out of Georgia.
PUTIN
Really David Silly-man Gordon Brown said you were here to help me film my new judo video.
DAVE
Er no wait.
PUTIN KICKS HIM IN THE GROIN.
PUTIN (TO THE TUNE OF POPEYE THE SAILOR MAN)
There'll be ne disputin' when I stick my foot in, I'm Putin the invader man,
2A NERVY AMERICAN KID IS ON STAGE (DANIEL)
DANIEL
Hey I'm Daniel if I don't win the Valley judo championship Biff'll never stop beating on me, and Sandy my girl will think I'm a poof.
PUTIN WALKS ON.
DANIEL
Are you Mr Miyagi, the wise fatherly Japanese karate instructor?
PUTIN
No I am Mr Putin the evil Russian president judo expert.
DANIEL
Oh well can you teach me to beat Biff and get my girl?
PUTIN
Sure wax on, wax off, paint up, paint down.
PUNCHES OT DANIEL.
PUTIN
Invade Georgia bomb Chechnya.