Quote: Graham Bandage @ October 8 2008, 12:18 PM BSTI post under a pseudonym only because I don't want my employers to stumble upon how much time I spend here when I'm supposed to be working. Five seconds' worth of detective work/extra clickery would elicit my real name.
Ditto my very nice social services organisation may take a dim view on my etchings.
Quote: Finck @ October 8 2008, 12:19 PM BSTwe're not all writers, we're the audience. Well, that part of the audience that actually gives a shit and will maybe watch a rerun or even buy a DVD.
Oi this is the writers discussion thread!
Quote: Dolly Dagger @ October 8 2008, 9:48 AM BSTMJ in the comments to his blog:
"It would be wrong if up and coming writers didn't feel they could do better than the established lot, and write the scripts to try and prove it, but I think the alternative comedians had more to say than: this is baaaaad, or this is sh**e."
'Someone' on the Coming of Age thread:
"Watched fifteen minutes of this last night. It is shit. Like, as has been mentioned, a crappy kids sit-com with added, constant sex 'gags'.
It is baaaaad. To think they cancelled Pulling to fill BBC3 up with more stuff like this. It beggars belief. "Maybe it's just coincidence?
Btw 'someone' isn't me, and there is some sort of more constructive criticism between the words 'shit' and 'baaaad'.
Well that 'someone' was me, and what was wrong with my comment? I don't have any duty to give constructive feedback; I'm just some pleb viewer voicing my opinion. And like you ay; I did point out a reason or two of why i found it baaaad. But I didn't have to; why should I?
Quote: Seefacts @ October 8 2008, 11:25 AM BSTPerry (I always feel ridiculous calling you that as if it's your actual name) can you give us a bit of a timeline of your writing life just to show people that no success after a year really is nothing.
Okay well as briefly as I can...
1994
Wrote on series 8 of Hale and Pace, got about 10 minutes of material broadcast.
Wrote a pub-based sitcom called Harry's Bar. It was shit and got nowhere.
1995:
Started writing gags for greetings card companies.
Got a few bits on The Huddlines.
1996:
Wrote a sitcom called "The Good The Bad And The Sad" about the coming apocolypse. It was shit and got nowhere.
Wrote some comedy linking material for local radio, unpaid.
Still writing cards.
1998:
Wrote a sitcom called Rusty Metal about a crap rock band. The Writer's Room said it showed great potential and I had a gift for funny dialogue. But nothing further happened.
Still writing cards.
2000:
Wrote a sitcom called Jimmy's Way. It was about a nihilistic manic depressive who worked in a joke shop. It was complete bollocks and in a fit of drunken pique I burned it in my back garden before sendinf to anyone.
Sold some left-over gags from my cards to a Christmas Cracker manufacturer.
Still writing cards.
2002:
Wrote and voiced an animation, The Prison Bitch Song with my good pal Kirk. Sent it to BBC2 Bristol animation. They weren't interested. Wrote and voiced another animation, Roger McLouse And His Dead Spouse, sent it to the same people. They weren't interested. Put them both up on Newgrounds.com, got over a million hits. Hmmm...
Contacted Century Radio (part of the Capitol Group) and told them I had some audio sketches they might want to listen to. I sent them in and they offered me a Friday night slot, 9 till midnight. My own comedy show! I did it for six months. Unpaid.
Still writing cards
2003:
Wrote another sitcom called Sun 'N' Surf set in a hybrid tanning salon / internet cafe. Blagged a place on a script writing seminar in Leicester run by the BBC. Forced the script on the organizer who promised to pass it on to the comedy guy at BBC Scotland. He called me a week later to say he really liked it, although he wasn't in a position to offer me a commission. He offered me a job on the writing team of a new sketch show called Total Character. I emailed the nice lady who passed my script on to thank her for her help, and to say I'd been offered the job on Total Character. She'd never heard of it. Got a call from the BBC Scotland guy a week later telling me that I'd really pissed his boss off by telling the woman about Total Character. Unbeknownst to me, it was all supposed to be a secret and this woman had just started work at Endemol. I wasn't contacted about Total Character again. Devastated. My first lesson learned about television politics: Don't tell anybody anything, or at least be ambiguous.
Wrote another sitcom about friends buying a house together. Sent it to Micheal Jacob who I'd met on a comedy forum. He told me I had talent and started helping me develop the idea.
Still writing cards.
2004:
Entered the BBC'S Funny Hunt talent search competition with one of my animations and won a finalist's place. Invited down to BBC where we met Sue Nickson, Jeremy Dyson, Steve Edge, Micheal Jacob etc. A great time and lots of contacts made.
Continued developing sitcom ideas with Mr Jacob.
Still writing cards
2005:
Mainly concentrated on writing cards to make some serious money. Completely skint and fed up.
Wrote and made those black and white voiceover things. Sent them to a contact at Baby Cow. She loved them - even lent the DVD out to her mates to watch. Went for meeting at Baby Cow. Nothing solid came from the project but more contacts made and offered work on upcoming shows in development, which is still ongoing.
Still writing cards
2006:
Wrote a wacky musical sitcom which I sent to Pett Productions, Vic and Bob's company. They were very interested and developed the idea with me. It was pitched but failed. Seems the world's not ready for a musical comedy. Especially not from a new writer. Writing on other Pett projects ongoing.
Wrote a sketch show with James Harris and sent it to the BBC. They loved it and got us down for a meeting. Told us "the contracts will be in the post within a couple of weeks" We celebrated! No contracts arrived. Months pass. Still no contracts. They keep saying "It's at the top of our development priorities". Over and over again.
Still writing cards.
2007:
Material commissioned and broadcast on Scallywagga, Rob Rouse's Comedy Shuffle, and Paramount's "Stuff". Asked to contribute to Baby Cow's new sketch show. Working on ideas with Pett Television. BBC finally get back to us about the sketch show. "We're finally in a position to move on this, we've got a prod co we want you to work with!" Brilliant! Two days later, another BBC email: "Sorry, the commissioner doesn't like it. We're no longer going ahead." Depression. Dissapointment. Despondancy.
Still writing cards.
2008:
I'm feeling cheeky so I send the C4 Head Of Comedy some material. He replies saying it's "proper, laugh-out-loud funny" and sets up a meeting with Hat Trick. I pitch a sketch show idea which they like, which somehow morphs into the same idea I'd had for the BBC sketch show. Hat Trick team me up with a talented guy with long legs called David Bussell. Spooky! We to and fro, cooking up evil ideas and arguing about titles. Hat Trick are offering to film some of our stuff! Holy shit!
Wanting to try something a bit more warm-hearted than my usual wacky writing style, and drawing heavily on all the feedback I've had from various producers, Micheal Jacob etc, I write a studio-based sitcom set on a Northern Industrial estate, and send it to the BBC. They really go for it and it's at the commissioning stage. Just waiting for the man with the cash to say yes.
I get an agent at PFD. She gets me on the writing team on a new BBC comedy panel show. Going to the London rehearsal on Sunday.
Still writing cards.
2009:
BAFTAS? Comedy Awards? Probably not, but one thing's almost certain...
Still writing cards.
Quote: sootyj @ October 8 2008, 11:27 AM BSTDoes any one know a black porn star with googly eyes who can sing?
Elton Long John Dong Silver.
Thanks people. Glad to have kicked something off. My blog was written in response to a post on my previous entry and not, sadly, inspired by here. You'll all be thrilled to know that Coming of Age audience figures and share increased in the second week, and that it's in considerable demand on the i-Player. Pip pip!
Quote: Perry Nium @ October 8 2008, 1:11 PM BSTOkay well as briefly as I can...
1994
Wrote on series 8 of Hale and Pace, got about 10 minutes of material broadcast.
Wrote a pub-based sitcom called Harry's Bar. It was shit and got nowhere.1995:
Started writing gags for greetings card companies.
Got a few bits on The Huddlines.1996:
Wrote a sitcom called "The Good The Bad And The Sad" about the coming apocolypse. It was shit and got nowhere.
Wrote some comedy linking material for local radio, unpaid.
Still writing cards.1998:
Wrote a sitcom called Rusty Metal about a crap rock band. The Writer's Room said it showed great potential and I had a gift for funny dialogue. But nothing further happened.
Still writing cards.2000:
Wrote a sitcom called Jimmy's Way. It was about a nihilistic manic depressive who worked in a joke shop. It was complete bollocks and in a fit of drunken pique I burned it in my back garden before sendinf to anyone.
Sold some left-over gags from my cards to a Christmas Cracker manufacturer.
Still writing cards.2002:
Wrote and voiced an animation, The Prison Bitch Song with my good pal Kirk. Sent it to BBC2 Bristol animation. They weren't interested. Wrote and voiced another animation, Roger McLouse And His Dead Spouse, sent it to the same people. They weren't interested. Put them both up on Newgrounds.com, got over a million hits. Hmmm...
Contacted Century Radio (part of the Capitol Group) and told them I had some audio sketches they might want to listen to. I sent them in and they offered me a Friday night slot, 9 till midnight. My own comedy show! I did it for six months. Unpaid.
Still writing cards2003:
Wrote another sitcom called Sun 'N' Surf set in a hybrid tanning salon / internet cafe. Blagged a place on a script writing seminar in Leicester run by the BBC. Forced the script on the organizer who promised to pass it on to the comedy guy at BBC Scotland. He called me a week later to say he really liked it, although he wasn't in a position to offer me a commission. He offered me a job on the writing team of a new sketch show called Total Character. I emailed the nice lady who passed my script on to thank her for her help, and to say I'd been offered the job on Total Character. She'd never heard of it. Got a call from the BBC Scotland guy a week later telling me that I'd really pissed his boss off by telling the woman about Total Character. Unbeknownst to me, it was all supposed to be a secret and this woman had just started work at Endemol. I wasn't contacted about Total Character again. Devastated. My first lesson learned about television politics: Don't tell anybody anything, or at least be ambiguous.
Wrote another sitcom about friends buying a house together. Sent it to Micheal Jacob who I'd met on a comedy forum. He told me I had talent and started helping me develop the idea.
Still writing cards.2004:
Entered the BBC'S Funny Hunt talent search competition with one of my animations and won a finalist's place. Invited down to BBC where we met Sue Nickson, Jeremy Dyson, Steve Edge, Micheal Jacob etc. A great time and lots of contacts made.
Continued developing sitcom ideas with Mr Jacob.
Still writing cards2005:
Mainly concentrated on writing cards to make some serious money. Completely skint and fed up.
Wrote and made those black and white voiceover things. Sent them to a contact at Baby Cow. She loved them - even lent the DVD out to her mates to watch. Went for meeting at Baby Cow. Nothing solid came from the project but more contacts made and offered work on upcoming shows in development, which is still ongoing.
Still writing cards2006:
Wrote a wacky musical sitcom which I sent to Pett Productions, Vic and Bob's company. They were very interested and developed the idea with me. It was pitched but failed. Seems the world's not ready for a musical comedy. Especially not from a new writer. Writing on other Pett projects ongoing.
Wrote a sketch show with James Harris and sent it to the BBC. They loved it and got us down for a meeting. Told us "the contracts will be in the post within a couple of weeks" We celebrated! No contracts arrived. Months pass. Still no contracts. They keep saying "It's at the top of our development priorities". Over and over again.
Still writing cards.2007:
Material commissioned and broadcast on Scallywagga, Rob Rouse's Comedy Shuffle, and Paramount's "Stuff". Asked to contribute to Baby Cow's new sketch show. Working on ideas with Pett Television. BBC finally get back to us about the sketch show. "We're finally in a position to move on this, we've got a prod co we want you to work with!" Brilliant! Two days later, another BBC email: "Sorry, the commissioner doesn't like it. We're no longer going ahead." Depression. Dissapointment. Despondancy.
Still writing cards.2008:
I'm feeling cheeky so I send the C4 Head Of Comedy some material. He replies saying it's "proper, laugh-out-loud funny" and sets up a meeting with Hat Trick. I pitch a sketch show idea which they like, which somehow morphs into the same idea I'd had for the BBC sketch show. Hat Trick team me up with a talented guy with long legs called David Bussell. Spooky! We to and fro, cooking up evil ideas and arguing about titles. Hat Trick are offering to film some of our stuff! Holy shit!
Wanting to try something a bit more warm-hearted than my usual wacky writing style, and drawing heavily on all the feedback I've had from various producers, Micheal Jacob etc, I write a studio-based sitcom set on a Northern Industrial estate, and send it to the BBC. They really go for it and it's at the commissioning stage. Just waiting for the man with the cash to say yes.
I get an agent at PFD. She gets me on the writing team on a new BBC comedy panel show. Going to the London rehearsal on Sunday.
Still writing cards.2009:
BAFTAS? Comedy Awards? Probably not, but one thing's almost certain...
Still writing cards.
That was fascinating.
That sounds like sarcasm. It isn't.
What did you do before you got the Hale and Pace gig?
Personally I think your comments were justified Mr Stott. Would you (and any other aspiring writers here for that matter) be bothered if anything you had produced garnered such criticism in the future? If the opinons were mixed I'd not be too bothered. If I was universally panned I would take it with one pinch of salt, tell myself they were jealous and/or too stupid to understand my masterpiece or begin to take note of what it was people didn't like about my work. Or I would just blame the actors/producers/director for ruining my brilliant script.
My work (as a journalist) once resulted in a vitriolic anonymous email which, as it was mainly concerned with my appearance, age and lifestyle (it was actually quite flattering - they'd got me all wrong). But it just made me laugh and I kept it for ages.
Quote: Nigel Kelly @ October 8 2008, 1:12 PM BSTElton Long John Dong Silver.
Well that's a punctillious answer.
Very funny.
Quote: Graham Bandage @ October 8 2008, 1:16 PM BSTThat was fascinating.
That sounds like sarcasm. It isn't.
What did you do before you got the Hale and Pace gig?
Lots. Worked in factories, bars, played keyboards in various cover bands etc. I was a Pontins Bluecoat in 94. 
Quote: Graham Bandage @ October 8 2008, 1:16 PM BSTThat was fascinating.
That sounds like sarcasm. It isn't.
What did you do before you got the Hale and Pace gig?
Seconded. Thanks Perry (ridiculous . . .) that must have taken a while to type.
Quote: Perry Nium @ October 8 2008, 1:21 PM BSTLots. Worked in factories, bars, played keyboards in various cover bands etc. I was a Pontins Bluecoat in 94.
So how old were you when the Hale & Pace thing happened?
Quote: Graham Bandage @ October 8 2008, 1:16 PM BSTThat was fascinating.
Indeed. And lets you off the hook of having to endure an abusive interview with Bussell.
Quote: Dolly Dagger @ October 8 2008, 1:17 PM BSTPersonally I think your comments were justified Mr Stott. Would you (and any other aspiring writers here for that matter) be bothered if anything you had produced garnered such criticism in the future? If the opinons were mixed I'd not be too bothered. If I was universally panned I would take it with one pinch of salt, tell myself they were jealous and/or too stupid to understand my masterpiece or begin to take note of what it was people didn't like about my work. Or I would just blame the actors/producers/director for ruining my brilliant script.
I'd probably be a bit annoyed if it only got bad remarks, but console myself with the fact that I was a working writer! I think it's important to ignore reviews, especially the blabbering mass that is the internet. Take it to heart and you'll only ruin yourself.
Perry - it's interesting that you always refer to being pushy and cheeky to get attention for you stuff. This is my downfall. I find it really hard to promoite myself in this way. I just can't do networking either.
Quote: Seefacts @ October 8 2008, 1:23 PM BSTSo how old were you when the Hale & Pace thing happened?
Six. He's had a hard life.
