Here's my Stand-up Page 2

Quote: Chris Forshaw @ October 6 2008, 7:07 PM BST

Everybody is endorsing products these days aren't they. George Foreman with his grills "I'm so proud of it, I put my name on it". I saw the other day Ainsley Harriot chocolate cake bars. "I'm so proud of it, I put my colour on it"

I have a little puppy chihuahua called Milo and unfortunately he only has 1 testicle. When he lies on his back his genitals look like an exclamation mark. I like to think it makes him look like some kind of super hero, "The Punctuator".

Does anyone do that superstitious thing when you wake up on the first day of each month you say "white rabbits" for good luck? I used to do it because my girlfriend got her period around that time each month and they hit her pretty hard. She used to say "white bedsheets".

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I thought the above were the pick of the bunch for me. Especially the Ansley Harriot gag, very good. I thought it kind of tailed off towards the end though.

"Anyone remember all that fuss in the news about a guy called James Ashley from Liverpool? He was a bloke who had police bust into his flat for one reason or another, and find him asleep naked in bed right, and they shot him because they thought he was pointing a gun at them under the covers. Sounds like a "is that a gun or are you happy to see me" situation".

This one didn't really work for me for example.

Reading it again I think you're going a little strong for the shock factor.

Shocking humor in context is great, but it's always a gamble as a stnadup.

There's every chance you'll lose the audience and not get them back.

A shock twist punchline dropped in carefully can be killer, but don't use it as filler.

The Afghanistan joke feels like your grasping for something and the Liverpool joke is dated.

If you've got the hang of topical quickies, then my advice is there's 20 good topical quickies in every edition of The Sun.

Chris, this is good stuff, I've followed your writing from the first day you posted on here and it's cleaning up nicely, there were some duds in that routine, but all round it's pretty solid and with a bit of a chop here and there and a cabinet reshuffle of some of the jokes I'd happily go on stage with that.

Thanks for all the comments gang. I think I'm going to have a big of a play around with it all and see what happens. I'll probably post it again when I'm satisfied.

Thanks for all the feedback again, it has been most helpful.

Quote: Chris Forshaw @ October 7 2008, 6:57 PM BST

Thanks for all the comments gang. I think I'm going to have a big of a play around with it all and see what happens. I'll probably post it again when I'm satisfied.

Thanks for all the feedback again, it has been most helpful.

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Chris, if you want to take it a step further before going "Out there" you could always film yourself doing it and put it on for us.

Hmm, it's not a bad idea. I'll see what I can do.

Cheers

I have finally got round to recording some of the stuff. It's only audio I'm afraid due to computer troubles, but you should get a good idea of the delivery.

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=q11B6ZOwJwc

I've used most of the stuff I posted in this thread, and added some new stuff aswell.

Let me know what you think

Cheers

I thought of a stand up gag Chris although it may have been done before. I don't do stand up so its yours if you want it.

Man says 'My wife spent 80 quid on a microwave, 80 bloody quid just to do this' HE HOLDS HIS RIGHT ARM UP AND MOVES THE TIPS OF HIS FINGERS EVER SO SLIGHTLY.

Anyone got any thoughts on the video then?

Quote: Chris Forshaw @ October 6 2008, 10:45 PM BST

Yeah that one is a bit close for comfort. I was going to gauge reaction to it here. Even though it is just an observation, I know people like to apply the racist label to anything relating to colour.

Cheers for the feedback

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No. No.

'He is the colour of chocolate cake' does not fall under the umbrella of observational humour, Mr Forshaw. Please. Listen to me on this one. It definately falls under the umbrella of embarassingly base racial humour.

Oy.