I haven't posted in here for a while, so I thought I'd dish out something I wrote the other day.
CABINET RESHUFFLE by Mikey J
INT. PARLIAMENT. DAY.
HARRIET HARMAN WALKS OVER TO GORDON BROWN.
HARRIET:
Ah, Prime Minister. Glad I caught you. I'd just like to congratulate you on such a wonderful reshuffle. It was good of you to include more women in the Cabinet.
GORDON:
Thought you'd like that, Harriet.
HARRIET:
Just one question. When will we meet the new girl?
GORDON:
The new girl?
HARRIET:
Yes. Mandy. Is she here yet?
GORDON:
Oh, Harriet. You've got the wrong end of the stick. Mandy is a man.
HARRIET:
Oh, I see. Er.. Gordon. I know you wanted to create a cooler, more "with-it" party, but must we have a pre-op transsexual in the Cabinet?
GORDON:
Mandy isn't a pre-op transsexual. It's Peter Mandelson.
HARRIET:
Peter Mandelson is a pre-op transsexual? My word. I'd never have known.
GORDON:
No, no, no. Peter Mandelson is all man. So I'm told. He's back in the Cabinet… again.
HARRIET:
What? The serial resigner? Oh, surely that's bollocks.
GORDON:
Bollocks? Oh, you must mean Ed Balls. He's in charge of Education.
HARRIET:
But surely it was silly to bring back Mandelson. Especially in the current climate.
GORDON:
Climate? Oh, you must mean Energy And Climate. No, no. Ed Miliband is running that department.
HARRIET:
Oh, Gordon. Don't you ever learn?
GORDON:
Learn? No, I told you. Education is run by Ed Bollocks.
HARRIET:
This is bad for the party's health.
GORDON:
Health? That's Alan Johnson's position.
HARRIET:
This won't go down well with the community.
GORDON:
Community? That's Hazel Blears' job.
HARRIET:
Look. In my defence…
GORDON:
Defence? John Hutton.
HARRIET:
All I'm saying is that he won't do the party justice.
GORDON:
Justice? Jack Straw.
HARRIET:
Oh, sod this! I've had enough. I resign.
GORDON:
Sorry. That's Peter Mandelson's job.
END.
Bloomin' good.