BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER IS WORKING AT TESCOS ON THE TILLS, GILES APPROACHES HER.
BUFFY
Welcome to Tesco's can I pack your bags?
GILES
It's me Buffy, Giles don't you recognise me?
BUFFY
Oh I bloody recognise, Mr I got a fancy pants prime time, Saturday slot on BBC1.
Willow got a job as Linday Lohan's PA, and muggins the slayer here got a job at Tescos.
GILES
I'm so sorry.
BUFFY
Have you tried to fill in a CV when all you've got is vampire slayer, or defender of man kind?
GILES
I'm sorry, but your needed.
BUFFY
Angel had me on f**king Jeremy Kyle. I'm a vampire, but my girl friend won't slay me. I was Buffy the sea gull slayer for Birghton council for a year.
GILES.
Buffy I'm really sorry but he's back. The Mandleson.
BUFFY
Not the most evil and indestructible vampire in all of England.
MANDY COMES ON IN FULL CAPE.
MANDY
I'm indestrcutible. I don't even need your votes to get into cabinet!
GILES
I've got the only 3 things that can defeat him.
HANDS BUFFY A BAG SHE LOOKS IN.
BUFFY
A massive loan, a dodgy passport and the Daily Mail.
MANDY
Aaaggghhh banished back to Brussells but I'll be back.
