Just trying to practise dialogue and a longer sketch. Think I may have lost the jjoke slightly. Anyway, don't hold back.
INT. HOSPITAL - DAY
A MAN IS PROPPED UP IN A HOSPITAL BED WITH TUBES SEEMINGLY EXTENDING FROM EVERY ORIFICE. A HEART MONITOR BEEPS WEAKLY, AND THE SOUND OF AN IRON LUNG PERMEATES THE ROOM.
HIS WIFE AND A DOCTOR STAND CONCERNEDLY AT HIS BEDSIDE
WIFE (PLEADING):
You heard the Doctor, darling! If you don't have the transplant you'll be dead in weeks!
MAN:
I won't have these bloody doctors practising their needlework on me, thank you very much.
WIFE:
But think of the children! Don't leave them to grow up without a father! Please!
MAN:
No! My body's telling me it's time to go. (HE COUGHS THROATILY AND WINCES IN PAIN). You'll find them a good step-dad. (LYING BACK). I love you dear, but I'm ready to meet my maker (SMILES SADLY) Maybe ask for a refund, eh? He don't make people like he used to (MORE COUGHING, THEN LIES BACK AND CLOSES HIS EYES).
WIFE:
(TEARFUL) No! (TO DOCTOR) Can't you do something?
DOCTOR:
(TAKES HER ARM GENTLY). Look, you go home and get some rest, and I'll see what I can do.
CUT TO:
INT. HOSPITAL – A FEW DAYS LATER
THE MAN IS STILL IN BED, BUT HE IS SITTING UPRIGHT AND ALERT, WATCHING TV WITH NO TUBES VISIBLE. HIS WIFE AND YOUNG CHILDREN ARE STANDING WITH THE DOCTOR
DOCTOR (BEAMING)
Well, in the end he did have a change of heart. In more ways than one haha. And he's recovering nicely, it was a good match so he should be home in a few days.
WIFE (HUGS DOCTOR):
Oh, thank you Doctor!
TO HER HUSBAND:
Darling, that's wonderful news! Soon everything'll be back to normal.
MAN:
(HE HAS A LOOK OF INTENSE CONCENTRATION ON HIS FACE) You're…You're my wife…Sally.
WIFE:
Yes of course it's me, Brian.
TO DOCTOR:
Erm…is he OK? He seems a little confused.
DOCTOR
Well, he wouldn't listen to me, and hypnotism failed. To save him, I had to use a new…experimental procedure.
WIFE:
What? What did you do?
DOCTOR:
I took another brain, and transferred some of its personality to make him less proud. He's still him, with his memories, it's just he might be a little…changed.
WE SEE THE MAN IS HOLDING OUT A BAG OF SWEETS TO HIS CHILDREN.
MAN:
Hey sexy, how about a nice blue one? Don't be shy, come and sit on Daddy's knee.
WIFE:
What have you done?
DOCTOR:
Well, as we've already determined, I changed his mind.
WIFE:
I didn't mean literally, you idiot! I just wanted my loving husband and doting father healthy again!
DOCTOR:
I can assure you he's perfectly healthy. And he looks like a *very* loving father to me.
WIFE:
He's looks like a paedo to me!
DOCTOR:
Hmm, maybe I should change my supplier from the local prison.
WIFE:
Well, can't you change his personality back?
DOCTOR:
OK, if you're sure, but he's a whiz at DIY now
WIFE:
Change him back!
DOCTOR:
You should see him put together a car
WIFE:
Change him back! Come on kids, we're going home.
DOCTOR:
OK, OK. But he's got no sexual inhibitions
WIFE (USHERS KIDS OUT THE DOOR):
Alright, but lose the other stuff, OK?