Inspired by something chip said in a different thread:
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IF YOU WERE ON FIRE
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INT. OUTSIDE TOILETS
SMITH WALKS THROUGH THE DOOR OF THE GENTS.
CUT TO:
INSIDE GENTS, JONES IS ON FIRE.
JONES:
ARGH! Help! Help me, I'm on fire!
HE FALLS TO THE GROUND AND TRIES TO ROLL AROUND TO PUT IT OUT.
SMITH:
Oh, for god's sake!
SMITH UNZIPS HIS FLIES
SMITH:
Here, you twat! Stop rolling about. You're harder to hit.
SMITH PISSES ALL OVER JONES, PUTTING OUT THE FLAMES. THERE IS A SIZZLE AND SMOKE AS THE FLAMES ARE PUT OUT.
JONES:
Ha! You said you wouldn't piss on me if I was on fire!
SMITH:
Yeah, well...
JONES:
You're a liar! That's what you are! Liar! Liar, liar, (POINTS AT SMITH) pants on fire!
SMITH:
Don't be so f**king childish!
JONES:
(STILL POINTING) No! Pants on fire! Pants on fire! They must have caught light off of me!
CUT TO SHOT OF SMITH WITH HIS PANTS ON FIRE. HE LOOKS DOWN, THEN STARTS TO PANIC, RUNNING AROUND WITH HIS ARMS IN THE AIR.
SMITH:
Help! Help me, I'm on fire!
END
Dan
