2 PUBLIC SCHOOL BOYS TALKING.
PS1
So you're out of the coma Piecrust?
PS2
Yes Mr Ready certainly gave me a good thumping. I'm basically tickety boo, apart from a couple of things.
PS1
Gosh what are they?
PS2
What's what you little bastard?
PS1
What happened after Mr Ready bashed you?
PS2
Oops sorry Halibut. It left me with amnesia, tourettes you shit stain and, and...
PS1
A stutter?
PS2
No you infected goats testicle, shit sandwich. What was I talking about?
PS1
Mr Evans.
PS2
I love him, with all my boyish f**king heart.
PS1
My golly Mr Evans punched you into homosexuality.
PS2
Yes damn it I love him, I love Mr Chips and I want to.....
MR EVANS WALKS ON AND THUMPS PS2 WHO COLLAPSES ON THE STAGE.
MREVANS
I warned you posh toss pot.
PS1
Not again Mr Evans, Halibut Snr didn't have much brain, and now you've damaged it twice. And he loved you.
MREVANS
Are you calling me a poof?
PS1
No Mr Ch(corrects himself) Evans.
MREVANS
Where's my maryjane you uppercrust c**t bubble?
PS1
I tried to buy some in the village, but the local boys just chased me.
MREVANS
Right your mum's just been on holiday to Monacco?
PS1
Er yes sir.
MREVANS
Had a boob job, bit of topless sunbathing?
PS1
Er yes sir, bit embarassing actually.
MREVANS
I'm confiscating all her holiday snaps, have them in my office by 9. Or the drama society of production, will have a ghost for it's Hamlet. Got it you haemorrhoid.
MREVANS STALKS OFF.
PS1
Goodbye Mr Chips