British Comedy Guide

We might as well all give up... Page 3

PRODUCER:
So, are you going to be in it, Geri?

GERI:
Oh, yes!

PRODUCER:
Right, and do you mind if we get some proper scriptwriters to tinker with a few bits? You know, just to make it a bit snappier and that?

GERI:
Oh, by all means. Which bits?

PRODUCER:
Well, the beginning could do with a bit of a rewrite. The end needs to be a bit more, you know, bigger. And the middle section just needs to be changed from a knitting-needle factory to a hot, naked, oily sauna full of hot, naked, oily women. And you, of course, and then we've got ourselves a film!

Dan

Good luck Geri. That's the easy part over... now the work REALLY begins.
Writing a screenplay isn't difficult - making it brilliant is.
If she puts in the graft and manages to produce a great script then good luck to her.

Quote: Graham Bandage @ October 2 2008, 2:20 PM BST

That is unfair. I'm led to believe that she posts on BSG under the name 'sootyj.'

How unfair you swine.

I am quite clearly the Katie Price of BSG.

As for her, did you notice the adverts next to the articles.

Nappies for big kids who piss the bed, an apropriate anology?

Quote: Griff @ October 2 2008, 4:18 PM BST

Having said which, there's f**k all money in book publishing, and I can't imagine Geri's made a lot from her shitty books. The publishers can afford to do a small print run of a book without going under, on the gamble that the celebrity name might make them a bit of money. Nobody's going to fund a fifty-million blockbuster written by a Spice Girl.

I suspect she made a rather large amount of money, from vacuos fans.

I'm surprised Cerne didn't claim she invented the Hadron Collider, in the hope one of her fans would pay for it.

Quote: Griff @ October 2 2008, 3:42 PM BST

There was this one.

Poor bloke, I hope he at least got to grope Joley Richardson for his half mill.

On the other hand .....

Stel Pavlou
Writer, The 51st State

"I came up with the idea for the film in my final year at Liverpool University and started writing a year later. There are stories about me applying for 600 jobs in the media, which are absolutely true: I have 600 rejection letters to prove it. Out of frustration, I wrote a script in four weeks flat because I had nothing else to do. A friend heard that if you clearly marked your screenplay as an independent feature, Tim Roth would read it, so I marked it Independent Feature Films Inc and sent it to him in LA. Two weeks later I got a call from him asking me what I'd done. Well, nothing. So he said that he would direct.

Then he pulled out. We asked if we could use his name anyway - we told him that we couldn't give a f**k if he directed it or not, but his name would be useful. So we made a fictitious company stamp, carved out of a potato, and went to Cannes. That led to a deal with Focus Films in London, and through Tim Roth, we got Samuel L Jackson. After four years and no social life, three directors and 19 script rewrites, the film got made."

Full version HERE. Scroll down. Interestingly enough, he's last!

Stel Pavlou didn't go to Liverpool University. He got his degree from Liverpool University, but he went to Christ's and Notre Dame College. With me.

Dissembling sod. Also, The 51st State was shit.

Quote: Graham Bandage @ October 3 2008, 9:59 AM BST

Stel Pavlou didn't go to Liverpool University. He got his degree from Liverpool University, but he went to Christ's and Notre Dame College. With me.

Dissembling sod. Also, The 51st State was shit.

I f**kin' hate him too! I didn't see The 51st State but I bet it's total shite.

Would have been even worse for you Graham, if I wrote it - all the characters would have sounded like Kenneth Williams.

Imagine Samuel K. Jackson uttering "Oooh Matron!" after shooting a guy's brains out.

Quote: Graham Bandage @ October 2 2008, 12:51 PM BST

I've said it before, and I'll say it again, I can't read a Morrace post without hearing Kenneth Williams's voice in my head.

:)

Quote: Rustle T Davis @ October 3 2008, 8:19 AM BST

Good luck Geri. That's the easy part over... now the work REALLY begins.
Writing a screenplay isn't difficult - making it brilliant is.
If she puts in the graft and manages to produce a great script then good luck to her.

Exactly, she'll still have to put the hard work in writing it even if it does get produced because of who she is but if she wants to give it a go, you never know, she might be good at it.

Quote: Zuhaib @ October 6 2008, 9:38 AM BST

...if she wants to give it a go, you never know, she might be good at it.

Geri? Is that you?

Quote: Graham Bandage @ October 6 2008, 9:41 AM BST

Geri? Is that you?

Lol but no, if it was I would already have enough contacts to get something produced without entering competitions and sending stuff to agents and producers.

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