British Comedy Guide

Crack snacks Page 2

Laughing out loud indeed

Hey pigs are highly intelligent, if we don't eat them they could take over.

Quote: sootyj @ October 2 2008, 11:53 AM BST

Hey pigs are highly intelligent, if we don't eat them they could take over.

We should use pigs more in the war on terror since Muslims are scared of touching them.

Israel was contemplating putting bags of pork scratchings on buses, so Muslims wouldn't suicide bomb them.

Thing is religious Jews don't dig on the swine neither.

I always carry a jumbo peperami for self defence when travelling on the Tube.

There's a sketch in this. A suicide bomber gets on a bus and opens his coat to reveal his bomb. Then the passengers open their coats to reveal piglets strapped to their chests. Then the bomber just gets off the bus.

Good idea, I'd go for a shirt of bacon though.

Quote: sootyj @ October 2 2008, 11:58 AM BST

Israel was contemplating putting bags of pork scratchings on buses, so Muslims wouldn't suicide bomb them.

I thought Israel did actually hang bags of pig fat on buses in the most dangerous areas.

Then the passengers open their coats to reveal piglets strapped to their chests.

We should get Carla Lane in to write this one.

Quote: chipolata @ October 2 2008, 12:05 PM BST

I thought Israel did actually hang bags of pig fat on buses in the most dangerous areas.

http://www.smh.com.au/articles/2004/02/12/1076548157145.html

Turns out your right Chipolata.

Where the hell they are going to get pig fat from in Israel though.

There is a small pig farming industry there though. The little oinkers are raised on decking, so their dirty trotters don't touch the sacred land of Israel.

I mean I might write to PM Zippy, and suggest shelling Gaza with peperamis, bacon and pork pies.

That was a stroke of luck for E-Zee Lard's Israeli marketing guy.

I mean I might write to PM Zippy, and suggest shelling Gaza with peperamis, bacon and pork pies.

Operation "Jeremy Kyle Buffet"

I don't think Israel could actually buy it, it's a remarkably sensitive area.

They'd probably have to be classed as US militairy aid.

Maybe Bruce Willis could smuggle in stale pork pies.

Pie Hard?

Quote: Griff @ October 2 2008, 12:06 PM BST

We should get Carla Lane in to write this one.

What no Turky Twizzlers?

Surely if Muslims were that sensitive, then the SAS would have recruited pigs ages ago.

2 good sized swine could have cleared the Iranina Embassy no problem.

Is this the most bizarre trip off topic ever?

Quote: sootyj @ October 2 2008, 12:17 PM BST

Surely if Muslims were that sensitive, then the SAS would have recruited pigs ages ago.

Isn't it An American Werewolf In London that has very scary pig-soldiers in?

I thought they were nightmare Nazi pig soldiers?

Quote: sootyj @ October 2 2008, 12:20 PM BST

I thought they were nightmare Nazi pig soldiers?

I'm sure the West would work with Nazi pig soldiers to defeat Islamic Extremism, then worry about the Nazi pig soldiers later.

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