VO
And now the 10 o'clock news for tramps.
NEWSREADY
Hello good evening and spare some change.
Tonight, we ask Gordon Brown who he's looking at?
BONG
Pete Docherty ambassador of tramps or embarassment?
BONG
And in fashions news Fern Britten asks Ami WInehouse, which shopping trolley are fashion concious bag ladies keeping their bags of crap.
But now Brian drunk as a fish with the bastard weather.
If you're using actual people's names, then shouldn't it be Michael Fish doing the weather? In the same way the BBC weatherman's always standing on the roof, maybe the tramp version could be in the rain, under a doorway/underpass.
Like the idea of tramp news as a vehicle for comedy, and the gist of the jokes, but not really all the sketch. For example, the line: "fashion concious bag ladies keeping their bags of crap."
uses the word "bag" twice, and feels like you should either just say "crap".
Quote: sootyj @ September 28 2008, 1:40 PM BSTTonight, we ask Gordon Brown who he's looking at?
It's a good idea. I'd be tempted to steer it away from tramps and just have it about drunks though. Really liked the line above, although I'd make the slightest change:
"Tonight, we'll be asking Gordon Brown "what are you looking at?"
Thanks guys specific criticism is the only sign of love I ever seem to get.
But serioulsy thanks, these peculiar sketches are part of the latest projrct fulminating in the cellars of Casa del Sootyj.