Mock news

Hollywood news; Nelson Mandela, Robert Mugabe and Ami Winehouse in shock decision to star in new western.

The good, the bad and the fugly.

Crushing news for Liberal Democrat ambitions, only 2% of people know Nick Clegg is head of the liberal democrats.

Including Ming Cambell and Nick Clegg.

Starbucks respond to credit crunch by investing in new range of pay toilets, called Star Butts.

Controversial slogan, "You've drunk our shit coffee, now give us your shit,"

American in danger of being taken over by religios fanatic from, abandoned wilderness, who hates abortion and wants everyone shot.

Osama Bin Laden said Sara Palin is a dangerous lunatic.

Helen Mirren and Queen Elizabeth fight credit crunch by producing "2 girls one cup of earl grey"

It's my GILFiest pleasure admits Piers Morgan

Robert Mugabe agrees to give up all power in Zimbabwe, in exchange for lucrative BBC snooker quiz contract.

Despot Black to hit the screens in September.

Chinese astronauts land on the moon.

There goes the neighborhood complains Elvis.

Disasterous adventure holiday for Bob Dylan and Mick Jagger. Bob trapped up hillside for 3 days, whilst Mick takes 2 days to fall all the way down the hill.

Bob refuses to answer question on "How does it to be on your own, like a rolling stone,"

Controversial new show on Dutch rent boys to feature Rich Hammond and Jeremy Clarkson.

BBC stnads by Top Queer.

Pete Docherty killed in prison. Investiagtion into how 12 fellow inmates smuggled in 3,000 rizlas.

And smoked him.

Hi Sooty.

Well I'm no expert on this kind of stuff, but in amongst this are some gems. You seem quite prolific and I think prolific is good. It's sort of old fashioned with a modern twist.

Quote: sootyj @ September 28 2008, 1:09 PM BST

American in danger of being taken over by religios fanatic from an abandoned wilderness, who hates abortion and wants everyone shot.

Osama Bin Laden said Sara Palin is a dangerous lunatic.

Robert Mugabe agrees to give up all power in Zimbabwe, in exchange for lucrative BBC snooker quiz contract.

Despot Black to hit the screens in September.

Chinese astronauts land on the moon.

There goes the neighborhood complains Elvis.

Disasterous adventure holiday for Bob Dylan and Mick Jagger. Bob trapped up hillside for 3 days, whilst Mick takes 2 days to fall all the way down the hill.

Bob refuses to answer question on "How does it to be on your own, like a rolling stone,"

View original

Overall thought it was pretty good, some a bit obvious perhaps, but the above ones I especially liked. Jagger/Dylan perhaps a little groany, but then can really imagine it said two-Ronnies style, or the Jan Ravens Newsnight impression.

Always come up with a few winners in the torrent of ideas that you generate

Quote: sootyj @ September 28 2008, 1:09 PM BST

Chinese astronauts land on the moon.

There goes the neighborhood complains Elvis.

View original

I don't mean to sound dumb, but I don't get that one, some of the others are cracking though. I really do admire your enthusiasm Sooty!

Thanks Skoodle.

China has been puting Takainauts into space, and Elvis aparently lives on the moon.

I merely hypothesised that he may have been a bit of a racist who objected to them on his moon.

Very good.

I thought at first the snooker quiz joke was big break not pot black, and comparing Jim Davison to Robert Mugabe is effing funny. Not sure who should be the most offended?

Great skill to reel off so much topical news stuff, really creative Sootyj

Thanks, Mugabe and Davidson?

That could be the most interesting combo since cheese and pickle

Despot Black was my fave of the bunch.

Mugabe and Davidson other than having different skin tone are quite alike in viewpoints. Perhaps they are the same person.