Bit of a surreal idea, gave it a try for the practice more than anything. Comments welcome:
To the tune of SONNY BOY, for example as Al Jolson famously sang:
SANTA IS SINGING TO A SUITED CHAP, WHO IS SAT ON THE FLOOR, READING THE FINANCIAL TIMES AND SOBBING QUIETLY
Climb upon my knee, City Boy
Though you're thirty-three, City Boy
All that cash you'd been throwing, on shares you were blowing
Now you're skint as Larry, City Boy
You were due a pay rise, then you got your good-byes
What you gonna do City Boy?
You ain't got shit now, trophy girl'll forsake you
Oh it's such a real, pity boy
When you worked for Lehman, you were a real jerk
Thought that you owned, the bloomin' Earth
Climb up on my sleigh, dear, you don't have to pay, dear
Not that you could, City Boy
Have you been good this year, City Boy? (SUITED MAN LOOKS UP AND NODS FEVERISHLY)
Then you've nothing to fear, City Boy
Can see it in your eyes, you're telling me lies
But I've got a present for you here, City boy
I know what you'd like, and it's not a new bike
You want a new career, City boy
I could do with a hand, back home in Lapland
It's hard to find a good cleaning boy.