The Boffins

INT. DAY. LAB.

BOFFIN 1: I am a boffin.

BOFFIN 2: He is a boffin.

BOFFIN 1 & 2: We are boffins.

BOFFIN 1: Do you want an answer to a difficult question?

BOFFIN 2: Perhaps you want a question to a difficult answer.

BOFFIN 1 & 2: Ask us, we are boffins.

A MAN WALKS IN.

MAN: Can you explain this?

THE MAN BLOWS UP A BALLOON AND LETS IT GO.

BOFFIN 1: Rapid emission of air.

BOFFIN 2: Random projectile.

BOFFIN 1: Sonically flatulent.

BOFFIN 2: But aromatically neutral.

MAN: Very good, now what about this?

THE MAN FARTS.

BOFFIN 1 & 2: As before but no projectile and aromatically pungent.

MAN: Good again, actually, I'm not so sure about the projectile bit.

Eww.

The opening lines may need clarification.

BOFFIN 1: I am a boffin.

BOFFIN 2: He is a boffin.

Implies that there is only one is a boffin.

COULD change it to:

BOFFIN 1 & 2: We are boffins.

BOFFIN 1: One is a boffin.

BOFFIN 2: I am a boffin too.

...as in boffin 1 and boffin 2.

Interesting opening, but a little too scatalogical for my taste.

Quote: Tuumble @ September 25 2008, 12:45 PM BST

Eww.

The opening lines may need clarification.

BOFFIN 1: I am a boffin.

BOFFIN 2: He is a boffin.

Implies that there is only one is a boffin.

View original

"Well, it's goodnight from me."

"And it's goodnight from him."

Implied that there was only one Ronnie?

It's called comedy.
______________________________________________________

Very funny up to the farts, Nigel.

Quote: Morrace @ September 25 2008, 2:33 PM BST

"Well, it's goodnight from me."

"And it's goodnight from him."

Implied that there was only one Ronnie?

It's called comedy.

View original

That's told me!

As I said to the GF only last night in bed. 'I'm a boffin.'
To which she replied 'Not tonight you're not.'

But she is from Tuscany.

I liked it but i think it would be funnier if it went on a bit longer or ended on something the boffins couldn't answer.

INT. DAY. LAB.

BOFFIN 1: I am a boffin.

BOFFIN 2: He is a boffin.

BOFFIN 1 & 2: We are boffins.

BOFFIN 1: Do you want an answer to a difficult question?

BOFFIN 2: Perhaps you want a question to a difficult answer.

BOFFIN 1 & 2: Ask us, we are boffins.

A MAN WALKS IN.

MAN: Can you explain this?

THE MAN BLOWS UP A BALLOON AND LETS IT GO.

BOFFIN 1: Rapid emission of air.

BOFFIN 2: Random projectile.

BOFFIN 1: Sonically flatulent.

BOFFIN 2: But aromatically neutral.

MAN: Could I have a second opinion.

BOFFIN 1 & 2: Oooh eee ooh. One opinion, two opinions, three opinions, four. We can press this buzzer that unlocks this steel door.

A LARGE STEEL DOOR OPENS.

BOFFINEER: I am the boffineer, the high priest of boffinry, without me boffins are buffoons. I know what you are thinking, did I fire six shots or only five.

MAN: What on earth are you on about?

BOFFINEER: Sorry, I was watching Dirty Harry before I was summonsed. I like to recite the lines, its the thespian in me.

MAN: Dirty Harry? But you left out the word 'punk.' Its 'I know what you are thinking punk, did I fire six shots or only five.'

BOFFIN 1 & 2: No, it cant be. The boffineer has made a mistake. Tell us it aint so boffineer.

BOFFINEER: It aint so boffineer, actually its true and now I must pay the penalty.

MAN: Can I get the second opinion first?

THE MAN AGAIN BLOWS UP THE BALLOON AND LETS IT GO.

BOFFINEER: There is a fine line between the process of balloon deflation and a whoopee cushion.

MAN: Cheers boffineer, I'm happy with your pearls of wisdom.

BOFFIN 1 & 2: Your wisdom has saved you boffineer, see yourself out and get back to your film.

MAN: Pale Rider is quite good too if you're a Clint fan.

I like the first sketch it's got a very pleasing rhythm.