British Comedy Guide

Song For Sootyj's Phat

Inspired by Sootyj's Postman Phat sketch: https://www.comedy.co.uk/forums/thread/9429#P271634

Postman Phat, Postman Phat,
Postman Phat drives a clapped-out old Passat
Early in the morning, Just as day is dawning
He goes out does a drive-by in his van.

Postman Phat, Postman Phat,
Postman Phat and his Burberry cap
With the nose that he is sporting, he is quite adept at snorting
Postman Phat's a rather "happy" man.

(or: Sells the drugs that he's transporting, for the kids that he's supporting
Postman Phat can get you fifty grams).

Everybody knows, his bright red nose,
All his dealers smile as he buys weed off them
Maybe…He can never be sure,
There'll be knock [knock knock] Ring [ring ring]
Coppers at his door.

[Hee Hee]
Postman Phat, Postman Phat,
Postman Phat kicks his blue-and-black cat,
All the birds are singing, and the day is just beginning,
Postman Phat is stealing from his nan.

Hmmm'ing tune till end…

Don't worry, not going to do Thomas the wank Engine

Good stuff as always Rob0.

Very good, send it in by all means.

Hopefully they'll use both.

An eerilly good match of intent and tune

Thanks Nigel. Likewise Sooty. Where you sending it? Topical shows? Would it not feel strange two separate people sending in two random, yet very related pieces?

Whilst a Postman Phat idea might be funny, is it really topical - or is there a story I've missed somewhere?

They often bundle stuff together, maybe they'll think we're the same person.

A doctor Jekyll of satire?

Don't see why they'd use it but if you don't mind I guess there's nothing to lose. Thought you just might want to use it with your sketch.

Like it. Works well with Soot's phat item.

Did you submit this to Treason?

I really think it made the grade.

Quote: sootyj @ October 5 2008, 5:57 PM BST

Did you submit this to Treason?

I really think it made the grade.

Glad you think so.
Given your suggestions I did - as you said, a sketch-song pairing could lend to a nice theme.

It's in the running order.

Oh right, so it is. I owe you a double thanks then: both for the idea and for suggesting I submit it, because there's no way I was going to - was just a quick bit of messing about. Now just hope it stays in.

Well done with Treason Show.

Cheers Nigel. I'll believe it when I see it, though, still changes to be made I'm sure.

You're going to the show?

The running order a week before hand is pretty solid.

Unless Pat dies in horrible, tragic possibly sexual/suicidal circumstances.

Hi RobO
i saw the show on saturday.
the song went down very well and got a good laugh.
Mark changed the ending slightly by turning it into the naked gag.

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