PETER, SUSAN, EDWARD, AND LUCY HAVE JUST COME INTO NARNIA.
THEY SEE ASLAN AND THE WITCH TALKING, SURROUNDED BY CENTAURS, GOBLINS ETC.
PETER
Quick chaps it looks like Aslan's in trouble again.
SUSAN
Yes Peter time for a combination of whimsical Christian imagery and extreme violence.
ASLAN
Stop children, please stop we're in the middle of peace negotitations.
PETER
What? But she's evil.
ASLAN
Oh Peter, son of Adam that's a deeply politically incorrect point of view.
WITCH
Evil's a cultural perspective, I bet pigs think you're evil, you eat them.
LUCY
But Aslan how are we going to restore hope to Narnia?
ASLAN
Not by another century of war and ethnic cleansing.
WITCH
Now to conclude these negotiations, you agree to stop biting people, and I'll stop turning people to stone.
EDWARD
What about us?
WITCH
Yes what about you, I'm afraid the Geneva convention doesn't cover mercenaries, terrorists and other none state operators.
LUCY
Aslan?
ASLAN
Sorry children, legally you're the same as Al Quaeda. Mr Tumus take them away.
MR TUMUS AND SEVERAL OTHER FAUNS IN BALACLAVAS DRAG THE PROTESTING KIDS AWAY.
WITCH
So when do the UN peace keepers arrive from Middle Earth?