A JOURNALIST IS INTERVIEWING A MAN IN AN ORANGE JUMP SUIT, WEARING IRONS, IT'S IN A CELL OF A US JAIL.
JOURNO
Brian Buhan is a man with little time left, infact Brian has exactly 72 hours to live. Brian is on Texas's notorious death row, and in 3 days the government will take his life. Brian does this make you angry?
BRIAN
I'll tell you what makes me angry, milk allegies cost me my feet.
JOURNO
What?
BRIAN
I'm lack toes intolerant.
JOURNO
Erm very funny, but do you think your crimes deserve the ultimate sanction? Do you owe the state your life? Or have you learnt your lesson?
BRIAN
No I haven't learned a thing, I'm still killing even in prison I'm merciless.
JOURNO
This is interesting tell me more.
BRIAN
Yes every morning I murdered Snap, Crackle and Pop. I'm a serial killer, except on Sundays we get pancakes.
JOURNO
That's it you are not taking this seriously, don't you want to share your last words before, before oblivion?
BRIAN
I'm sorry, see I was in solitary on deathrow for 10 years. I was allowed one book, and I got Bob Monkhouse's "Stand up for yourself, you to can be a standup comic,"
I've had no one to practice on all this time.
JOURNO
I see, that's a terribly sad story Brian. But Brian any final thoughts?
BRIAN
Yes to all the children out there, make the most of your time on earth. Time flies like an arrow(BEAT)fruit flies like a banana though.
JOURNO
That's another pun you bastard.
SHE BEATS HIM TO DEATH WITH HER MICROPHONE.
JOURNALIST IS NOW TALKING DIRECT TO CAMERA
JOURNO
Since my gournd breaking report on Brian Buhan. Texas has made some major changes on it's death row. The waiting period has dropped from 10 years, to about 2 days.
PULL BACK TO REVEAL SHE IS STRAPPED INTO AN EXECUTION TABLE.
GUARD
We don't believe in cruel and unusual PUNishment.