I've actaully been looking on the internet for anti heckling jokes just in case, I know it's stealing but its a joke I wouldnt use unless I felt I really had to as, just ignoring the idiot is the best thing to do really.
lol at the boosh.
I've seen noel fielding doing stand up he did a 5 minute set on some comedy night, I unfortunatly didn't laugh I was just confused.
Ted Chippington is the best dealing with hecklers. Theres an audio clip I've heard where the audience are chanting "Who are the f**king hell you" and he just keeps saying "Ted Chippington".."Ted Chippington"..."For the third time Ted Chippington"..in his monotone voice, its great.
i don't like the man but roy "chuuby" brown dealt with a heckler well once, the guy shouted something and chubby asked him to repeat it, then added, "ow so you want to be on the dvd heh, well wave so everyone can see you,(heckler waved) well done you siily shit now the bouncers can see who you are". they can make or break a performance.
Generally open mic nights give 5 min slots don't they? Do they normally want a tape or a script or anything beforehand?
No open mic nights are very straight forward, just book a place turn up and do your rountine... don't go over though they don't like that, they don't really care if you're good or bad... sometimes being bad can be better.
Half the reason I watch open mic nights!
Cheers Paul - and am I right about 5 min time slots?
Yeah, 5 minute slot is standard for open mic nights
open mics arn't just a good way to start either, they are a good exercise, i always like to do a three minute improv, it involves going on with one joke lined up then just going on from their, hecklers in open mics can be really annoying, because you have such a short time, and it may be wasted on dealing with a heckler, (unless you deal with him/her well, theit might turn out better than your original set)
Yeah, really worried about hecklers, like I say I've been looking for a anti heckling jokes but I've only got 2 good ones at the moment... any suggestions?
I just thought of this one, how about:
"I can't understand a word you're saying mate. You were supposed to put the Rohypnol in HER! drink."
Glad I didn't use that one in my best man speech!!!
I think the trouble is the put downs have to be specific to the heckler, or the venue, or topical so they're hard. As it's open mic hopefully a simple "f'off or you come up and have a go" will do the trick.
Shoeman
P.S. Love the bag of cocks line. Which totally ruins my whole specificness point. D'oh!!
I like that shoepie, may I borrow? or how about this one, using the start of your sentence.
"I can't understand a word you're saying mate. Can anyone translate bullshit?"
Yeah feel free to borrow it. Let me know how it goes down if you do. I like your new variation.
Yeah I've phoned a place up and I reckon I can be ready for 4 weeks... if not I will have to go to a comedy club in the city and that will take more time.
Paul i use this sometimes, i ask them if there with anyone, if they say yes, i ask the person(s) they are with why they hang out with a c**t, if no the audience usually just laugh at them. If you embarrass them or their friends they shut up pretty quickly.
If I ever had the balls and courage to do stand up, I'd start my set like this:
Well this is scary isn't it..not for you obviously, you're all just here to sit and judge, in a way you're like a jury in a courtroom, baring in mind a jury wouldn't be allowed to consume alcohol like you lot, UNLESS..maybe that's why they came to that decision in the Michael Jackson case (cheap shot I know). But yeah you have a lot of similarties with a jury, all sitting there stern, watching my every action and listening to every word I utter, so keep that in mind and at the end of the set I'll get the verdict on whether or not I'm guilty..of been funny (said in a corny "Hey thats a good joke" way).
Anyway so speaking of kids...
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And thats what I'd do.