*bangs head on desk*
well I'll be talking about myself so the opener itself helps introduce my other mini subjects of: studity, religion and a bit on the internet.
Stand-UP? Page 2
I've written a whole set never performed though, some of it made some sort of sense at the time. Most my stuff is very story driven I like telling little whimsical stories about various things. Not really a gag man
Same here I'm terrible at one liners I sat down one night and all I came up with along with a lot of crap was... "doctor doctor, I lost my short term memory..... I know" what the hell is that!
I can think of funny little stories ad-hok as well so if I'm in a situation which may require the use of laugher to fill a giant balloon, not to rapidly so the canvas will become unstable, but a nice gradual build of laughter I could be of sevice.
I think being able to talk shite is quite a good talent as a stand up
i agree with you there gavin, being able to talk shite is a over looked talent, even if it is bringing something to life or just making a observation, then talking utter cow dung about it is quite a good thing if it is done right, i tried doing stand-up that is based on fact and history, i did a few bits about the great wall of china and gengis khan, but yet again it spiraled into charachters and a different lighter view on it, so i stick to that, you see, i've just talked shite then and i could go on, but (pardon me on this one) i need a shite, i'll be back soon.
Quote: Scott Evans @ February 28, 2007, 4:17 PMHow’s this for a opener...if its **** just say cos I'd much rather know instead of everyone here being nice and then I stand up on the local circuit and die on me arse
I started writing yesterday and then I had to dash mid way so I'll carry on now...
Who here hates beer? Do you hate beer? Mate do you hate the drink? (audience "No") Come on, you do, well a lot do in the morning, at least at some point you wake up and hate the bastard drink! Well I do, I hate being under the influence of alcohol...........he's an evil f**ker. I'm sitting at the bar on Saturday night not doing anyone any harm, sipping me pint when the little bastard starts to talk to me
(Mimics drink talking to me) Hey look at her, corr she's lovely ani't she....(whispers) you know what....
(My voice, sounding very drunk, slurry and hiccups) what?
(Mimics drink talking to me) I think you could pull her
(Me) Really, me? Mmmmmm I dunno
(Mimics drink talking to me) Yeah, she's lovely; look at the ass on that, everyone in the room is looking at it! Come on man go for it, GO FOR IT!!!!
I start to nod in agreement, I am gonna go for it, yeah! I slam me pint down, wipe me mouth, fix me hair and do my pulling walk, I'm god damn sexy and she's gonna want me! Thanks drink!
(Here I drop my head) Thats the last thing I remember from Saturday night and I wish I could forget Sunday morning. I wake up something is different, someone else is with me...game on...I obviously pulled the sexy lady but wait...hang on... look I'm still half a sleep you know, but I start to look around. Why am I surrounded by broken wood? Why have I got an oxygen mask on? Why is my brother being carried out on a stretcher? why is my dad crying and my mom hitting me with a broom....but hang on she isn’t hitting me........FUCKING'ELL..........I JUST GET A FLASH BACK....
My little bastard pint laughing his head off (mimic evil laugh) the evil bastard. He bloody well tricked me, I only went and bedded a whale.....not a really whale....look she looked like a whale.......I only went and bedded the whale...because of the ale! That what drink does you see, it f**ks with ya, it takes the piss, it thinks its hilarious to make you do terrible stuff and they’re all in on in. So yeah, I'd pulled this human beach ball but not as light cos some how I managed to get her up the stairs and her fat lady scooter, lifted her into me bed.............my bunk bed and....(fake sickness) look you don't need to know and I don't need to remember but lets just say the bed went down faster than her dinner. So me beds broken, so is me brother, so am I and to top it all off as she laid there trying to eat me yorkie terrier while me mother belts us while the fire brigade tries to lift her off me while removing the outside wall and getting a crane to lift her out me little man, me peepo, me partner in crime........whose not getting this? me ding dong, me Blair decides that’s the last bit of abuse he's having off me and the f**ker is stood to attention and trying to break free (mimics willy) Free Willy Free Willy! Thats it I'm f**king gay............
Well thats another story................go into that one
I'd imagine I would just have set pieces but I;d ad-lib a lot as I'd go, the above was just made up as I went along though I did borrow a bit from a sketch I once wrote
If you're going to ab-lib you can't really tell if the material is good unless its performed. I would say this though, if you're going to do that as your opening gambit you have bigger balls than I have because I honestly can't tell if it would work or not. Good luck.
I know it's not the same (and about 100x easier) but I gave a best man's speech last year and I had to prepare methodically. Every single line, word, syllable was written and rehearsed to death.
The really annoying thing is, I was so nervous I screwed up and lost my place, I ad-libbed a joke and it got the biggest laugh of the speech!! (albeit from a crowd who wanted to laugh)
Out of curiosity, anyone else get that weird hand shaking thing!!!? And does it go away with experience!!! Or am I forever doomed to be a bad public speaker!!!!!
Quote: ajp29 @ March 1, 2007, 12:28 PMI would say this though, if you're going to do that as your opening gambit you have bigger balls than I have because I honestly can't tell if it would work or not. Good luck.
I dunno either, Im quite an animated performer so who knows, that why I seek ur advice..cheers
Quote: ShoePie @ March 1, 2007, 1:12 PMOut of curiosity, anyone else get that weird hand shaking thing!!!? And does it go away with experience!!! Or am I forever doomed to be a bad public speaker!!!!!
With me, it goes away after the first couple of laughs (of a best man's speech). In the first instance (I've done it twice), I had to ad-lib the first five minutes cos it was shaking so much I couldn't read my speech!
Dan
When I got married I had cards but I just couldn't look at'em, when I first started I tried to browse at them once or twice but every time I stopped it seemed like ages to look at them, ages when I weren't talking so I stopped and ad-libbed it and the rest went well
Shoepie: When I went for my driving test my foot wouldn't stop shaking, just a nerves thing I suppose, once your more relaxed and comfortable you'll be fine.
The bit Ive got written so far is a surreal take on a real event but maybe I'd be better just talking about the event, why is it people always tell you things you don't wanna know. This one time I'm asleep in bed and my mate bursts in looking like an escaped prisoner with fear in his eyes, he proceeds to drag me to his room to point to a big dent in his bed, well I couldn't see one but this was him telling me he'd be raped by a fat woman. Raped? I said....'Yeah, how else do you explain it' 'You was bleedin drunk mate, blame it on the beer' 'Fecking evil ass beer' he said
Quote: Scott Evans @ March 1, 2007, 11:00 AMI started writing yesterday and then I had to dash mid way so I'll carry on now...
Who here hates beer? Do you hate beer? Mate do you hate the drink? (audience "No") Come on, you do, well a lot do in the morning, at least at some point you wake up and hate the bastard drink! Well I do, I hate being under the influence of alcohol...........he's an evil f**ker. I'm sitting at the bar on Saturday night not doing anyone any harm, sipping me pint when the little bastard starts to talk to me
(Mimics drink talking to me) Hey look at her, corr she's lovely ani't she....(whispers) you know what....
(My voice, sounding very drunk, slurry and hiccups) what?
(Mimics drink talking to me) I think you could pull her
(Me) Really, me? Mmmmmm I dunno
(Mimics drink talking to me) Yeah, she's lovely; look at the ass on that, everyone in the room is looking at it! Come on man go for it, GO FOR IT!!!!
I start to nod in agreement, I am gonna go for it, yeah! I slam me pint down, wipe me mouth, fix me hair and do my pulling walk, I'm god damn sexy and she's gonna want me! Thanks drink!
(Here I drop my head) Thats the last thing I remember from Saturday night and I wish I could forget Sunday morning. I wake up something is different, someone else is with me...game on...I obviously pulled the sexy lady but wait...hang on... look I'm still half a sleep you know, but I start to look around. Why am I surrounded by broken wood? Why have I got an oxygen mask on? Why is my brother being carried out on a stretcher? why is my dad crying and my mom hitting me with a broom....but hang on she isn’t hitting me........FUCKING'ELL..........I JUST GET A FLASH BACK....
My little bastard pint laughing his head off (mimic evil laugh) the evil bastard. He bloody well tricked me, I only went and bedded a whale.....not a really whale....look she looked like a whale.......I only went and bedded the whale...because of the ale! That what drink does you see, it f**ks with ya, it takes the piss, it thinks its hilarious to make you do terrible stuff and they’re all in on in. So yeah, I'd pulled this human beach ball but not as light cos some how I managed to get her up the stairs and her fat lady scooter, lifted her into me bed.............my bunk bed and....(fake sickness) look you don't need to know and I don't need to remember but lets just say the bed went down faster than her dinner. So me beds broken, so is me brother, so am I and to top it all off as she laid there trying to eat me yorkie terrier while me mother belts us while the fire brigade tries to lift her off me while removing the outside wall and getting a crane to lift her out me little man, me peepo, me partner in crime........whose not getting this? me ding dong, me Blair decides that’s the last bit of abuse he's having off me and the f**ker is stood to attention and trying to break free (mimics willy) Free Willy Free Willy! Thats it I'm f**king gay............
Well thats another story................go into that one
this threads taken off! ajp has a point talking to the audience is a hard thing to do, because you never know what they are going to do or say back... jimmy carr and "the pub landlord" get away with it the best... other stand ups can cock it up.
My parents own a pub and they use to have comedians on every wednesday, nationwide circuit and some were brillant but they would come in 4, one compare comedy and 3 acts and 1 act was always new and more often than not they were terrible, alot of the time because there stage presents or connection with the audience was way off
I avoid talking to the audience because I have a set set (does that make sense?) But i enjoy putting down hecklers especially if they insult you, its a license to be as evil and personal as you want. I wouldn't recommend it to smaller comedians because they may hit you. I think i'll start talking to audiences when i sell out and can't be arsed to write new jokes.
PS I agree with Paul about Jimmy Carr and Al Murray but The Mighty Boosh should be put on the list. They deal with the audience in a tag team put down which is genius. Something like:-
'Be quiet or i'll come at you like a bag of cocks'
'And you will recieve them like a satchell of virginas'