I didn't want to put these on Dan's thread so I started another. Here's a selection of some material I submitted.
Here's a selection of a few I sent in:-
IRAN LAUNCH FIRST ROCKET
Iran have just launched their first rocket into space. Tony Blair was asked if he watched the countdown. He said yes but he only got a six letter word and he’s crap at the numbers anyway.
NEW TRANSSEXUAL BOY BAND
Visa For Love is the first album from the latest pop sensation, Thai transsexual ladyboy band, Venus Flytrap. H from Steps was asked what he thought of Visa For Love. He replied that he couldn’t really comment as he always used American Express.
When asked about future projects, they said that they had always fancied doing Take That’s b sides.
EDUCATION ACADEMIES CRITICISED
Tony Blair has been criticised today over standards at city education academies in deprived areas. Claims have been made that the basic three ‘R’s are still at a poor level. When pupils at an inner city academy were asked what the three ‘R’s were, most replied; Rizla, Reefer and Rap.
MPs and Teachers’ unions have said that the standard of English is just not good enough. Education secretary Alan Johnson refuted the comments by saying,
“This ain’t true. We dun our bestest to get edumacation much better than it were. Bumbaclot.”
MARGARET BECKETT DUPED BY TV IMPRESSIONIST
After Margaret Beckett was duped by a prank phone call from Rory Bremner pretending to be Gordon Brown, Tony Blair announced that he had been tricked into war with Iraq by Jon Culshaw from Deadringers pretending to be George Bush.
A Downing Street spokesman went on to say that reports of the war were exaggerated by Ronnie Ancona doing Kate Adie on Newsnight and the whole Basra offensive was masterminded by Alistair MacGowan.
It was also reported that David Cameron had also received a phone call from Mike Yarwood doing Ted Heath but that he wasn’t fooling anybody.
Paul, you should show us yours. I bet they are really good!