MAN IS TALKING TO A DR, THERE IS A RED BANDANA AND A PINK WATER PISTOL ON THE DESK (ONE OF THEM FANCY BIG ONES)
MAN
So I'm in Sainsbury's and the next thing I know I can hear helicopters, and I'm laying an ambush in the salad counter.
DR
And this happens at random?
MAN
No usually at boring periods in my life.
SUDDENLY GRAMS
SOUND OF HELICOPTERS, AND PAINT IT BLACK BY THE STONES STARTS PLAYING.
MAN IS HIDING AMONGST POT PLANTS, WEARING HEAD BAND WAVING WATERPISTOL AROUND.
MAN
You could leave Nam, but the Nam never leaves you.
MAN SUDDENLY LOOKS EMBARASSED TAKES OFF HEADBAND AND SITS BACK DOWN AT THE DESK.
MAN
I don't know what came over me.
DR
Do you watch a lot of Bravo?
MAN
Yes I love Magum, A Team, and of course Walker Texas Ranger.
DR
You've got a nasty case of Vietnam flashback.
MAN
But I've never been to Vietnam.
DR
You don't need to, when your life becomes dull, poorly written, or low on budget you'll instinctively disapear into an unconvinving fantasy world of over cooked war film cliches.
MAN
Is there a cure?
DR
I dunno get a girlfriend, watch the Hallmarak Channel.
THE DRS PHILIPINO SECRETARY COMES IN.
MAN GRABS UP GUN AND HEAD BAND WAVES IT AT SECRETARY.
MAN
Aaagghhh! You sold me out Doc you're working for the bastards, bangety bang die you yellow devil!
MAN JUMPS OUT OF THE WINDOW.
SECRETARY
Oh dear Dr, another Thomas Magnum syndrome. You're next patient's ready.
SECRETARY LEAVES TOM COMES IN, HE'S WEARING AN ARMY CAP AND WAVING A BROOM WITH A BUTTER KNIFE TAPED TO IT.
TOM
I'm having these flashbacks DR (BEAT) they don't like it up 'em.