A week to live...

HOSPITAL. A CONSULTANT IS TALKING TO CLEARLY UNWELL MIDDLE-AGED PATIENT.

DOCTOR: Mr Johnson, I'm afraid you have just a week to live.

MR JOHNSON: Wh-at? It can't be.

DOCTOR: It's true. Your condition is at a very advanced stage and there's nothing left that we can do now.

MR JOHNSON: I...I can't believe it.

DOCTOR: However hard this seems I think it's time for you to start putting your affairs in order.

MR JOHNSON: It's really that bad?

DOCTOR: It is. All I can recommend is shagging your mistresses four times a day for the next week.

MR JOHNSON: This is terrible!

DOCTOR: Yeah, I know. I bet you wish you had a fortnightnow. I'd book you into the STD clinic too but there seems little point.

END

eh?

Affairs in order - mistresses.

Oh, nevermind - I wrote it in 5 minutes

Aah that's a good joke now I get it.

Clearly I should provide an explanatory leaflet with all my gags!

Heheh, like it Tuumble. Do you need the last two lines though?

Nah I'm just a bit sponge brained at the moment.