A CONFERENCE TABLE, AGNES (GRANNYISH), NURPAL(A SIKH), JENNY (20S), AND TOM (THE NEW BOY SIT AROUND)
TOM
So first day on the job in the civil service.
AGNES
You'll fit right in we're like a family here, talking about family who wants to see pictures of the twins.
NURPAL
Oh bless they must be 6 months.
JENNY
Oh yes please, oh they're so sweet.
THEY GATHER AROUND AGNES, EXCEPT TOM WHO SITS TO ONE SIDE LOOKING UNCOMFORTABLE.
SIR STJOHN BURSTS IN HE IS A 7 FOOT TALL PIN STRIPPED CIVIL SERVANT.
STJOHN
Right every one onto work, how are those lovely grandkids Agnes!
AGNES
Top hole Sr StJohn.
STJOHN
Aah Tom the new bug, welcome to the MOCH, or mocha as well call it.
TOM
Thank you sir StJohn, but what do we actually do?
STJOHN
Nurpal tell him.
NURPAL
Thank you Sir Stjohn. At the ministery of offensive comedy and humor, we ensure that any event of tragic proportions, has an apropriately offensive joke.
TOM
We tell jokes? This is ridiculos, I thought I was going to be working some where proper like the Home Office.
STJOHN
We're rather more vital to the nation than the Home Office, Jenny.
JENNY
MOCHA was created in 1945 after the liberation of Bergen Belsen. There was chaos as light entertainers competed to come up with the most offensive gag.
Vera Lynn sang Belsen's a Gas; Arthur Askey stabbed Norman Wisdom in the street over who had thought of the screaming pizza joke.
STJOHN
Anarchy, it was Churchill himself who signed the White Paper creating a permanent cross party QUANGO. With the job of ensuring a continual supply of high quality tasteless humor.
NURPAL
And these days there's terrible competiton. The US department for Homeland Security and Sick Jokes has a multi billion dollar budget. The Chinese office of the rotten joke, has over 25,000 civil servants. India is working on something even bigger.
AGNES
And the EU wants to roll us up into the Deustschenland Gruppen Sheizen Humur.
STJOHN
So not such a little operation, eh new bug?
TOM
Sorry.
STJOHN
Right onto business a woman from New Orleans killed her baby by puting it in a microwave.
AGNES
She was auditioning for Jamie Oliver's Cruel Dinners?
NURPAL
Again with the Oliver Jokes?
AGNES
Rob dog stole my grandkids Turkey Twizzlers.
JENNY
New Orleans food is quite hot? Microwaved kids meals, to hot for kids?
STJOHN
Not bad.
TOM
Hey if she was black, and the kid was white. She could say she was trying to make it look like herself.
NURPAL
That's just racist.
AGNES
My son in law is black, have you any idea of how offensive what you just said is?
STJOHN
I think you'd better join the MOD, your type is more welcome there I'd think.