First Aid Class Sketch

Set in a Classroom- a First Aid Class. Pupils are all about 16. A teacher walks in. He speaks in a posh accent and exaggerates every syllable. When he speaks he rubs his hands together.

TEACHER: Hello everyone. I'm your First Aid Teacher. Well done for deciding to do first aid, a very important subject I feel. Now let's get one thing clear shall we before we begin. Because it is first aid (explores into giggles) you are going to have to do alot of touching of one another and even better (quickly correcting himself) I mean and also, you to will have to be touched. Anyway. Now on your desk is an exercise book. Put your name on your exercise book and put my name.
PUPIL: What is your name Sir?
TEACHER: Mr Glitter (Corrects himself very quickly) I mean Mr Smith, yes Mr Smith. Hahaha.

Anyway, feedback very welcome positive, neutral or negative.

I love the idea and it's funny.

I'd just spread it out more, drop a few Glitter references.

But good stuff.

I dont know Jack I want to say it's great cos you obviously have great taste in sitcom. There's an idea there but it's not really worked into a satisfactory sketch for me. What Vorhaus would call a jokoid. Should it be Gad rather than Glitter by the way.

Meanwhile is there a joke about glitter balls at the school disco?

It is a decent idea Jack. You could have 'Mr. Smith' being the 'Resusci-Anne' volunteering every time so he gets mouth-to-mouth from each pupil and also wanting a certain part of his anatomy used to practice dressing/bandages.

Quote: Marc P @ September 14 2008, 1:23 PM BST

Should it be Gad rather than Glitter by the way.
Meanwhile is there a joke about glitter balls at the school disco?

View original

Agree with the 'Gad' bit, Marc P.
Meanwhile, is there a joke/song also, about:

D'you wanna join my class, my class,my class
D'you wanna join my class, oh yeh!
I'm the teacher, I'm the teacher, etc

(over to Rob0?)

Good idea, plenty of room to play around with gags.
Would you mind spacing out the post a little more? Just I'd find it a little easier to follow.

Quote: Morrace @ September 14 2008, 4:39 PM BST

Agree with the 'Gad' bit, Marc P.
Meanwhile, is there a joke/song also, about:

D'you wanna join my class, my class,my class
D'you wanna join my class, oh yeh!
I'm the teacher, I'm the teacher, etc

(over to Rob0?)

View original

What? Have I got a reputation for these songs now? Always thought I'd be more of a sketch man, but have gotten too distracted recently...

Robo you could put your own f**king show on the road.

You're a song writing genius.

Did you hear that, Rob0?

Thanks for the kind words. Raises the spirits to hear a comment such as that as much as "you've written better" deflates them.

Hoping to record some of the songs and shove 'em on youtube in the not-so-distant future.

I think you could write about 3 topical sketch shows on your own, with all your ideas, Sootyj! Morrace would make a dream editor, can seem to improve almost any sketch.
But then I've read some bloody fantastic sketches on here recently, seen some superb videos (Paris & Wales spring to mind). Then there's the Python-esque crew, and the surrealists...could have a complete variety show. Would be nice to have a musical, where sketches and songs merge seamlessly

I think it's good too

Quote: Rob0 @ September 15 2008, 9:19 PM BST

Thanks for the kind words. Raises the spirits to hear a comment such as that as much as "you've written better" deflates them.

View original

Do people want me to stop saying that? I thought I was being helpful......

No, not at all. Is indeed helpful to know what's not up to scratch. Just has the same tone as a parent being kindly whilst belying the disappointment beneath that your standards have slipped.

Quote: Rob0 @ September 15 2008, 9:19 PM BST

But then I've read some bloody fantastic sketches on here recently, seen some superb videos (Paris & Wales spring to mind). Then there's the Python-esque crew, and the surrealists...could have a complete variety show. Would be nice to have a musical, where sketches and songs merge seamlessly

View original

Why haven't you lot pitched the BSG SHOW to your beeb producers yet?