I'd keep asking how his name would sound if the e was produced aye, instead of eh.
Pinter
Pintah'
Sootyj
IPA you over rated twat.
Two Blokes in a Pub Page 2
Okay, I'll rename it Two Blokes in Space!
CAPT. HENRY:
I can see Uranus.
ALIEN TERRY:
Sorry, this spacesuit is a bit tight.
CAPT. HENRY:
Where have you been?
ALIEN TERRY:
My people carrier broke down.
CAPT. HENRY:
So?
ALIEN TERRY:
I had to get a gearbox from another Galaxy!
Boom! Boom! Wakka, wakka, etc.
Quote: sootyj @ September 14 2008, 5:02 PM BSTI'd keep asking how his name would sound if the e was produced aye, instead of eh.
Pinter
Pintah'
Sootyj
IPA you over rated twat.
PINTER:
Pintah
SOOTYJ:
IPA, you over-rated twat.
PINTER:
Good choice – regarding the IPA. But regarding …. (PAUSE)
SOOTYJ:
Regarding what, you over-rated twat?
PINTER:
Exactly. (PAUSE)
SOOTYJ:
Exactly what - you over-rated twat?
PINTER:
You over-rated twat. Is that…well… (PAUSE)
SOOTYJ:
Come on - out with it, you over-rated twat.
PINTER:
….your opinion of me?
SOOTYJ:
What, that you're an over-rated twat, you over-rated twat?
PINTER:
Yes.
SOOTYJ:
Well, your just average and hyped out of all proportion.
PINTER:
Over-rated?
SOOTYJ:
Twat.
PINTER:
Mmmm…Have you seen ‘The Caretaker' or The Dumb Waiter'?
SOOTYJ:
I wouldn't know – this isn't my local.
____________________________________________________________________________
Anyway, back to the original sketches. I did not mean to sound dismissive - perhaps I am becoming over-rigid in my idea of what a sketch should be. I am not sure how easy these sketches would be to place, but then the same could be said for all sketches! And sometimes a double act will go for this sort of material, Mel and Griff's face-to-faces being a good example.
I enjoy your way with dialogue, and look forward to reading more.
Thanks Timbo,
My favourite comedy duo at the moment is Mitchell and Webb and whenever I write a two hander, I always think of them. (That sounds vaguely sexual, it wasn't meant to be).
BTW, please be as harsh as you like, as there's no point people saying nice things to me if my writing doesn't improve. I'm a noob to this forum and there are some seriously talented and funny people on here, so any advice I can get is always appreciated.
Unfortunately, I have to go back now to all my previously written sketches and do a lot of editing.
I might put another one up (not Pub Blokes) in a few days to gauge reaction.
Cheers,
RC
Like your writing, found your sketches funny - good observations, though I'm not overly familiar with Magnum.
Quote: Morrace @ September 14 2008, 7:02 PM BSTPINTER:
PintahSOOTYJ:
IPA, you over-rated twat.PINTER:
Good choice – regarding the IPA. But regarding …. (PAUSE)SOOTYJ:
Regarding what, you over-rated twat?PINTER:
Exactly. (PAUSE)SOOTYJ:
Exactly what - you over-rated twat?PINTER:
You over-rated twat. Is that…well… (PAUSE)SOOTYJ:
Come on - out with it, you over-rated twat.PINTER:
….your opinion of me?SOOTYJ:
What, that you're an over-rated twat, you over-rated twat?PINTER:
Yes.SOOTYJ:
Well, your just average and hyped out of all proportion.PINTER:
Over-rated?SOOTYJ:
Twat.PINTER:
Mmmm…Have you seen ‘The Caretaker' or The Dumb Waiter'?SOOTYJ:
I wouldn't know – this isn't my local.
____________________________________________________________________________
Another lovely piece of comedy, nice imitation of Pinter, well paced.
You're a very funny writer when you allow yourself Morrace.
I'd be really interested to see some of your other writings.
Quote: sootyj @ September 14 2008, 11:25 PM BSTAnother lovely piece of comedy, nice imitation of Pinter, well paced.
You're a very funny writer when you allow yourself Morrace.
I'd be really interested to see some of your other writings.
See, Morrace? Other people want to see your talent unleashed! You might be overcritical of your work, but it's your attention to detail that makes your rewrites / adlib posts so readable.
I don't act; I react https://www.comedy.co.uk/forums/thread/9189