Musical Pews

INT. CHURCH. DAY.

A funeral scene: six pall-bearers carry a well-decorated coffin between overflowing banks of pews. The funeral march is played by an ORGANIST. As the coffin nears the VICAR's pulpit, the music comes to an abrupt halt. The pall-bearers drop the coffin and scrabble to find a seat in any available space. One pall-bearer (FRED) is left standing, and shakes his head bashfully.

FRED (raises hands):
Alright, alright; I'm out.

Some nervous chuckles from the congregation. The VICAR, from his pulpit, raises a revolver and fires. FX: gunshot and thud OOV.

VICAR:
Bad luck, Fred. Right then everyone, next round!

Six new pall-bearers stand and lift FRED's body into another coffin at the back of the church. As they raise the coffin onto their shoulders, the VICAR nods to the ORGANIST, who recommences the funeral march. The new pall-bearers nervously start down the aisle.

FIN.

Very funny, Tommo. But leave it at 'Alright, alright; I'm out'. Short & sharp.

The rest is quite funny but I think it's unnecessary and tends to take the edge off. Leave 'em laughing!

I agree this is a great skit, and would work silently.

Funny quickie Tommy.

I like the way your comedy mind works.

Cheers lads. Appreciated greatly. I'll keep three versions - this one, the super-short Morrace one, and Joel's silent one.

Tom.