INT. GARAGE - DAY
MECHANICS GARY, DAN AND BIG DAVE ARE HAVING A TEA BREAK. GARAGE MANAGER LANCE APPROACHES.
LANCE
So, Gary... first day... how's it been?
GARY
Great, really great. You guys have been so helpful.
LANCE
Hey, we're just one big family here, aren't we guys.
DAN AND BIG DAVE MURMER THEIR AGREEMENT.
GARY
I really appreciate it... at my last garage I wan't exactly Mr. Popular so...
DAN
I don't beleive that for a second.
BIG DAVE
No, you seem like a good bloke.
GARY
Yeah, well, I think I am. It's just that... I had a habit of saying the wrong thing sometimes.
LANCE
Don't we all.
THEY ALL LAUGH.
DAN
Some people are over sensitive to these things.
GARY
That's what I thought... but sometimes they made me feel like a right tit.
THERE ARE GASPS, THEN SILENCE. DAN DROPS HIS SPANNER, THE ECHO RESOUNDS AROUND THE GARAGE.
LANCE
Er, Gary... Big Dave had breast cancer last year.
GARY
What?
DAN
Yeah, he had to have his right breast removed.
BIG DAVE RAISES HIS HAND TO WHERE HIS RIGHT BREAST USED TO BE.
GARY
But he's a man.
LANCE
Damn right he is... and just because he's only got one breast it doesn't make him any less of one, does it big fella?
LANCE PUTS A CONSOLING ARM AROUND BIG DAVE.
GARY
Jeez, I'm sorry Big Dave.
BIG DAVE
That's alright, Gary. You weren't to know.
LANCE
Look everyone makes mistakes. Let's just put it behind us and move on, eh?
THE MOOD LIGHTENS. DAN PICKS UP HIS SPANNER.
GARY
Thanks guys... I just wish the guys at my last place were as understanding. You know they got so sick of me there that someone put a lit cigarrette in the hood of my jacket.
BIG DAVE
Oh no, that's not on.
GARY
Luckily it was flame retardent so...
THERE ARE GASPS, THEN SILENCE. DAN DROPS HIS SPANNER AGAIN, THE ECHO RESOUNDS AROUND THE GARAGE.
BIG GARY
Er, Gary... Dan has the retardation.
GARY
Oh, come on.
LANCE
Yeah, been a retard all his life. Does his best to try and hide it, don't you, champ?
DAN NODS SOLEMNLY.
GARY
But I wasn't even talking about retards.
LANCE
Jeez, let it go Gary. You're just making it worse.
GARY
Alright. Look, I'm really sorry, Dan - I honestly had no idea you were a... you were that way.
DAN
It's okay, Gary. I suppose I should take your incorrect assumption of my normalcy as recognition of my efforts at integration.
GARY PICKS UP DAN'S SPANNER. HANDS IT BACK TO HIM. THE MOOD LIGHTENS ONCE MORE.
LANCE
This is silly. Let's just draw a line under these hurtful comments and move on.
THERE ARE SMILES ALL ROUND AND SOME BACK SLAPPING.
GARY
You guys are great... I'd hate for us to get off on the wrong foot.
THERE ARE GASPS, THEN SILENCE. DAN DROPS HIS SPANNER AGAIN, THE ECHO RESOUNDS AROUND THE GARAGE.
GARY
Oh for f... What now?
LANCE SHAMEFULLY LIFTS UP HIS TROUSER LEGS TO REVEAL HORSE'S HOOVES
GARY
That's it - I quit.
Enjoyed it from start to finish.