FX: Phones ringing, Scottish voices answering etc
MAN: Okay, so in future I think the best thing to do would be just be to not shave your PIN number into the back of your cat. Okay, have a nice day, sir.
FX: Puts down phone
MAN: Ah, bollocks!
WOMAN: What is it?
MAN: Ah... I'm meeting someone tonight, but if I get one more call like that I'll miss my bus.
WOMAN: These calls are from London, right?
MAN: Yeah...
WOMAN: Well then why don't just do what I do. If you don't want them to stay on too long; just pretend that your accent's too thick to understand.
MAN: What?
FX: Phone rings
WOMAN: Oop, there's mine. Look I'll show you...
FX: Picks up phone
ENGLISH GUY (DISTORTED): Um... Hello. Someone's taken money out of my account without me knowing!
WOMAN: Ahhh soo yoo e'een dool on ye' lawllon goll dooyelargh?
ENGLISH GUY: Um...Pardon...
WOMAN: Dorandoo?
ENGLISH GUY: Um... you know what. Never mind... I...um... they gave it back.
FX: Hangs up
WOMAN: See?
MAN: Wow... and... they never just ask you speak more clearly?
WOMAN: They're too embarrassed. They can't ask you to sound less Scottish, it sounds racist.
FX: Phone rings
WOMAN: There, give it a go.
MAN: Um...
FX: Picks up reciever
MAN: Um... Sporran cabertoss haggis aye?
COCKNEY (DISTORED): Awight, 'aws abbaat dooinaat oii naw! WERP!
MAN: Um... What was that sir? (REALISES HE'S STOPPED SPEAKING UBER-SCOTTISH)Oh!
COCKNEY: Aappps ona waalen! Goyien sarswan!
MAN: Oh...dear...
THE END
Good.
