X-RAYS

INT. HOSPITAL - DAY

DOCTORS BOYCE AND PLUMLEY STAND AT AN X-RAY LIGHTBOX. DR. BOYCE PUTS UP AN X-RAY OF A CHEST.

DR. BOYCE
Here you can see Mrs. Carlton has suffered additional trauma to the upper chest area...

DR. PLUMLEY
Phwoar...

DR. BOYCE
Doctor?

DR. PLUMLEY
What? No, nothing, just... is it warm in here?

DR. BOYCE
(Shrugs)
You can see quite clearly the fracture on the collar bone where...

DR. PLUMLEY
(lustily)
Oh yeah, that is nice...

DR. BOYCE
Sorry? Nice?

DR. PLUMLEY
As in... it's a nice example of that type of fracture... classic... clean.

DR. BOYCE
I suppose so. Now, I'm not sure it really merits a plate so what I'd like to propose is that...

DR. PLUMLEY
Would you mind awfully if I just nip to the loo?

DR. BOYCE
No, not at all. I'll be right here.

DR. PLUMLEY TURNS TO WALK AWAY, PAUSES, TURNS BACK.

DR. PLUMLEY
I should probably take this with me.

DR. PLUMLEY TAKES THE X-RAY FROM THE LIGHTBOX.

DR. BOYCE
To the bathroom?

DR. PLUMLEY
It'll help me fully familiarise myself with the lady's... injury.

DR. PLUMLEY EXITS.

DISSOLVE TO:

SAME ROOM - LATER

DR. BOYCE CHECKS HIS WATCH. DR. PLUMLEY ENTERS. HE'S WIPING THE X-RAY WITH A TISSUE

DR. PLUMLEY
Sorry to keep you waiting - the light isn't great in there.

DR. BOYCE
Right. Now, moving on to Mrs. Carlton's pelvic injury.

DR. BOYCE PLACES AN X-RAY OF A PELVIS ON THE LIGHTBOX

DR. PLUMLEY
OH YEAH, THERE'S THE MONEY! YOU FILTHY LITTLE...

DR. BOYCE
Doctor?

DR PLUMLEY SNATCHES THE X-RAY DOWN.

DR. PLUMLEY
You might as well go. This one's going to need my full attention.

DR. PLUMLEY WALKS TO THE DOOR, STARING AT THE X-RAY

DR. PLUMLEY
(mutters)
Shameless... utterly shameless.

END

I love the idea but so far it's the same joke twice. It could use something slightly different for the punchline.

Actually, it would also work if you took out the middle bit of him actually going to the loo with the x-ray. That way it's the same joke with an escalation.

I like this nice idea, strong characters pacy and funny.

But couple of suggestions,

1 Have the dirty doc use perv language to describe the bones.
e.g. phwoor look at the size of those ribs.

2 Also the punchline is a little to mated to the original joke.
Maybe the disgusted Dr storms out carrying loads of xrays himself, or
he shows the other Dr a male xray and he thinks he calling him gay?

Good sketch mind.

Hmm now I think about it maybe a conclusion could be. The Dr pulls out the pelvis xray and the other one ejaculates in his pants imediately.

Funny sketch. I love the idea.

But I'd have had it like this:

During the showing of the chest injury, have the doctor moderately turned on. "Ooh." and "Ooh, yeah."

Then when the pelvic injury is shown, he shrieks the "phwooooor!"
"oh YESSSSSS! That's more like it!"
And then the ending would be:

"Do you mind if I go to the toilet?"
Then the doctor leaves, then quickly reappears, grabs the pelvic xray and rushes out.

This is good stuff.

P'raps Dr P., while examining the pelvic x-ray, could "measure" the patient using his fingers, and exclaim over the snug fit he anticipates (but only if you're looking for ways to heighten his reaction).

Otherwise, full marks (once you've taken out the first wank exit).

So he fancies skeletons? I like that. Can't help but feel you could do more with it though. Like Afinkawan says, it's the same gag twice.

Thanks everyone. All points duly noted.

Bo.

Quote: David Bussell @ September 9 2008, 1:25 PM BST

So he fancies skeletons? I like that. Can't help but feel you could do more with it though. Like Afinkawan says, it's the same gag twice.

View original

Perhaps the other guy gets a boner from cancerous organs in jars?

Albeit the idea of a guy getting the horn from the ultimate form of nudity, is intriguing....

Quote: sootyj @ September 9 2008, 3:09 PM BST

Albeit the idea of a guy getting the horn from the ultimate form of nudity, is intriguing....

View original

*Don't suggest necrophilia, don't suggest necrophilia...*

I meant looking at bones.

Necrophillia is dead, f**king and boring.

A necrophiliac had intercourse with my wife but complained she was too cold and lifeless. Boom! Boom!

A good sketch. Agree with the point made about repetition. I'm sure with a bit of a rewrite it can be resolved nicely.

Quote: sootyj @ September 9 2008, 3:25 PM BST

I meant looking at bones.

Necrophillia is dead, f**king and boring.

View original

Sorry sooty, got the wrong end of the stick there.

Quote: sootyj @ September 9 2008, 3:25 PM BST

Necrophillia is dead, f**king

View original

'Tis.

I liked this. Just a little tweak as per previous comments and should be top notch

She said she was into sadism, necrophilia and bestiality; ask me she was flogging a dead horse...

Excellent idea, well-written as always. Agree with Afkinawan about the middle section (as everyone else has).

Cheers guys.

Bo.