MORTGAGE SILLY NAMES by Mikey J
INT. TV STUDIO. DAY.
INTERVIEWER:
Hello and welcome to the show. Today we're discussing failed mortage companies with our special guest Robin S. Blind, the world's most celebrated expert on world economics and banking, and the author of the bestselling book "Subtraction - It Doesn't Add Up." Thank you for coming on the show, Robin.
ROBIN:
The pleasure's all yours.
INTERVIEWER:
Yes, quite. So, Robin. Do you think that the collapse of so many top lenders is directly connected to the house price crisis, or would you say that the problem lies more with the current credit crunch and the subsequent recession that's sure to follow?
ROBIN:
No. Surprisingly enough, the problem is nothing to do with the economy.
INTERVIEWER:
Oh? Where do you think the blame lies?
ROBIN:
Silly names.
INTERVIEWER:
(NONPLUSSED) Silly names?
ROBIN:
Yes. Silly names. If you give a company a silly name, it's bound to fail. Take a look at the names of the two recent failures. Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae. They're not proper bank names. They sound more like a cheesy husband-and-wife double act from X-Factor.
INTERVIEWER:
Oh, don't be so silly. A company's success or failure isn't measured on what they're called.
ROBIN:
Oh? What would you say the cause is then?
INTERVIEWER:
Well, possibly the house price crash. Or people not being able to afford their mortage repayments. Maybe the rising cost of living.
ROBIN:
(INTERRUPTING) You're talking rubbish! What do you know, anyway? Who's the expert here? You or me, hmm?
INTERVIEWER:
Er… You of course, Mr Blind.
ROBIN:
Well, then.
INTERVIEWER:
Look, take Northern Rock for example. That isn't a silly name.
ROBIN:
Yes it is. Bloody ridiculous. For starters, it doesn't just serve the North. And rock. Hmm. Hardly a rock if it collapsed so easily. Silly name.
INTERVIEWER:
Sorry, but that's all we've got time for. (LOOKS AT AUDIENCE) Join me next time when I'll be talking to the chairwoman of the Paranoid Women's Society where we'll be debating the question "Does my bum look big in this?"
END.
