Inspired by Tommy

BOB AND DERECK ARE TALKING

BOB

Bet you £20 i can do a briliant impersonation of you.

DERECK

Bollocks, you can't act and you're half my size.

BOB

Betcha I can.

DERECK

You're on lets see it.

BOB THROWS HIMSELF ON THE GROUND TWISTS HIMSELF UP LIKE A PRETZEL, BLEEDS OUT OF HIS MOUTH, AND SOME HOW FLATTENS HIS HEAD.

DERECK

You sick twist, that's nothing like me (SHAKEN) I'm going now you'd better have my £20 tomorrow.

DERECK WALKS OUT INTO THE ROAD A VAN HITS HIM HE FLIES IN THE AIR HITS THE PAVEMENT AND LIES DEAD TWISTED LIKE A PRETZEL.

BOB WALKS OVER (HE'S NOW FINE) AND TAKES £20 NOTE OUT OF DERECK'S WALLET.

BOB

Yoinks a £20 note I'm off the sweet shop, then I'm going to have a great big plate of mash, with sausages sticking out of it.

2

SOOTYJ IS STANDING NEXT TO GARY GLITTER.

GARY

Hey Sootyj I can do an ace impersonation of Sarah Palin.

SOOTYJ

No you can't you tubby child molester.

GARY

Betcha 20 squids I can.

SOOTYJ AND GARY SITTING IN BED GARY IS SMOKING AND LOOKING SMUG, SOOTYJ LOOKS DISTURBED.

SOOTYJ

That was a very good impersonation of Sarah Palin, here's your 20 suqids.

GIVES GARY 20 QUID.

GARY

Yoinks 20 squids! I'm going to the sweet shop to buy gobstoppers, dib dabs and giant comedy lollies.

SOOTYJ

Then you're going to give them out at the nearest school.

GARY

They're going to be on my wang, oh yeh!

Sick. Funny, but sick. The last line should be Bob though.

Very good, Joel. If only I'd...

Just messing around with a diferent perspective.

I find it useful to experiment with other people's styles.

Yoinks a £20 note I'm off the sweet shop, then I'm going to have a great big plate of mash, with sausages sticking out of it.

Ah, the poignant reminder of all those comic strip endings of yesteryear.

Horrible new chapter added.

Does any one reckon this is suitable for radio 2?

Yeah, sick, but funny. First one was v clever.

But not the 2nd? Thanks, I think I was feeling around for the taste barrier.

I suppose the 1st could double up as one of those sick horror public information films where they show what happens if you don't "Stop, look and listen". And the twist is sudden and unexpected, so has the shock humour.

The 2nd was also clever and well executed, but was already ready at the beginning for the sickness. And also have your best interestes at heart - didn't want you to put yourself in the situation where you'll be disturbed further by Gary Glitter.

And everyone else's best interests too - you're quite disturbed enough as it is. (though of course the people lucky enough to attend the meet-up are better placed to vouch for this)

The 1st actually opens up another idea; of a psychic doing impressions predicting the future. The cleverest bit for me was how essentially the acquaintance died because of the prediction, rather than just being a straight impression (similar to the Oracle idea in the Matrix such as the breaking of the crockery)