British Comedy Guide

Terrible jokes Page 9

A man is driving to an extremely important meeting when he sees the car park is completely full up.
He says 'Oh shit, shit shit! Please God, give me a space, just one space, and I'll do anything! I swear, I'll give up sex, I'll never watch another footy match, I'll be happy with the car I've got and never lust after a newer one, and I'll give most of my wages to charity for as long as I'm earning.'

Suddenly, where he swore there was no space before, the driver sees a space with ample room for him to get in and back out.

He says 'Oh it's alright God, I've found one now'.

Quote: sootyj @ November 20 2008, 7:33 PM GMT

Yatta youze read about the 118 118 thread?

I have seen it, though I imagine your next post will be advising me to stay away from it.

Moonie made me do a lol.

Steal the bread from my unborn, unconceived and all round unlikely children.

See if I care.

Cries.

Go on though you've got some good gags.

My dog went into his kennel and he blew it up; it was a Yorkshire terrorist.

I used to work as a lift attendant, it had it's ups and downs.

I used to work as a herb inspector, well it passed the Thyme.

Oh God. Laughing out loud

I used to really enjoy my job fitting rearview mirrors, but no point looking back.

How terrible is this?

What do you call a time travelling farmer... Tractor Who.

Oh dear God. Laughing out loudLaughing out loudLaughing out loudLaughing out loudLaughing out loud

*cackles and giggles away*

Looked out my window this morning, there was a German Shepard having a shit in my garden. Cheeky bastard brought his dog as well.

Why are boobs like train sets?

Because they are meant for kids but it's always grown men who play with them.

I got accused of fiddling the books at work but something just didn't add up.

I used to enjoy tap dancing. I gave up after I fell in the sink.

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