A white horse walks into a pub. The barman says to him "Wow, this pub's named after you", and the horse says "What, Dave?".
Terrible jokes Page 7
Haha, like it.
Guy goes into a Bakers in Glasgow and says 'Excuse me, is that a cake or a meringue?'
Baker says 'No, you're right, it's a cake'
Quote: Tittybiscuit @ October 1 2008, 2:44 PM BSTGuy goes into a Bakers in Glasgow and says 'Excuse me, is that a cake or a meringue?'
Baker says 'No, you're right, it's a cake'
Haha, one of my favourites!
I love bar jokes:
- A horse walks into a bar, the barman says "why the long face?"
- A vampire walks into a bar, the barman says "why the long teeth?"
No? Okay, how about:
- A font walks into a bar, the barman say "get out, we don't serve your type in here."
- A bra, a battery and a set of jump leads walk into a bar. The bra goes to buy a round but the barman refuses to serve him.
"Why not?" asks the bra.
"Because your're off your tits and your friends look like they might start something."
- Two oranges in a bar. One says "You're round."
I'll get me coat...
An Irishman, the Pope and an Ostrich walk into a bar. The landlord says "What is this? Some kind of joke?".
That reminds me of a funny one actually:
A man walks into a bar, accompanied by a cat and an ostrich. The man buys the first round of drinks, which are consumed quite quickly. He turns to the cat and says "you're round", to which the cat replies, "f**k off".
So the ostrich buys the next round. And the man buys the next. Then again, when it comes to the cat's turn, it tells the man to "f**k off" and refuses to buy any drinks.
When it's the man's next turn to buy drinks, the landlord's curiosity gets the better of him.
"Here", he says, "Why are you with a cat and an ostrich? And why isn't the cat buying any drinks?."
"Well, I met my Fairy Godmother today", the man replies. "And she granted me one wish. So I wished for a long-legged bird with a tight pussy."
Haha, ace.
A bloke goes into a restaurant, with a hankering for a nice bowl of soup. On the menu he notices that the Soup of the Day is "Oasis Soup". He's never heard of it before but decides to try it. The soup arrives and although it's very nice, it doesn't seem particularly special and he still can't work out why it's called Oasis Soup, so he calls the waiter over and asks him.
"That was lovely but can you please tell me why it's called Oasis Soup?"
"Because," said the waiter...
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"You got a roll with it."
Paul Gascoigne told that joke (or a variation of that joke) to Liam Gallagher one night in the Groucho Club about 10 years ago. So Liam squirted him with a fire extinguisher, and got banned from that place for life. True fact!
Hahah - loved that joke! haha
Quote: NickTheDon @ October 3 2008, 11:28 AM BSTPaul Gascoigne told that joke (or a variation of that joke) to Liam Gallagher one night in the Groucho Club about 10 years ago. So Liam squirted him with a fire extinguisher, and got banned from that place for life. True fact!
Yet they didn't ban Paul Gascoigne for telling such a bad joke? 
Here is my bad joke for the day:
Was at the pictures the other week with a girl. Half way through the film she tapped me on my shoulder and said 'the guy next to me is wanking' I said 'not to worry, we'll move to the row in front' she said 'we can't' I said 'Why Not?' she replied 'Because he's using my hand'
Q: What's the difference between sex, and anal sex?
A: One makes your day, the other makes your hole weak.
'Tis a great one, that.
An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a pub and the landlord says "Is this some kind of a joke?"
I got home last night and found my wife dead in the washing machine 
Oh well, at least she died in comfort 