She had an irrational hatred of Muppets.
The ladies not for Kermit.
Terrible jokes Page 12
Ex PM Tony is to present documentaries on WW2 and reproduction.
After all, alls Blair in love and war.
Current PM to give up unsuccesful job as PM and become a sining governess.
It'll be the Brown'd of music.
Oh and Thatcher ain't dead.
The Ladies not for interning.
Turing was a sight gag on the similar appearance of Turing and turning.
Albiet the printer gag got an LOL out of me.
Mind if I send it to 118 118?
Quote: Griff @ December 9 2008, 11:42 PM GMTHas everyone just abandoned comedy completely now and just started putting random words in that don't even sound like the original or make any kind of logical or comedic sense?
Have you been in Critique recently?
Quote: Griff @ December 9 2008, 11:42 PM GMTMargaret Thatcher didn't print out 40 pages per minute.
The lady's not an HP Photosmart C4180 laser printer.
That actually made me laugh.
I meant she wasn't Alan Turing, breaker of codes, inventor of computer, fan of public conveniences.
Calm down dears, it's only a set of incredibly poor puns. 
I know a fair few IT bods who don't know who Turing was.
One of the Greatest Englishmen ever.
And why is everyone always rude about critique?
n.b. did you hear about the Flinstone, Abba fan who stabbed people whilst dressed as a villain from Starwars, arresting people and veering about?
He was an Abba stabba jabba nabba slew.
I went in to Curries and I said, "I'm looking for an item that cooks food but I've forgotten what it's called" He said, "Microwave?" I said, "That rings a bell"
Girls can be annoying,
"Stop peeing on the seat!... if you want to pee, tell me and we'll stop at a service station."
JOHN LENNON:
One minute she's up, next she's down, then she's up again. And she's SO negative.
PAUL McCARTNEY:
Who's that John?
JOHN:
Yoyo Ono
What's old, yellow and lives off dead beetles? Yoko Ono
An oldie but goodie....
---------------------
Paul McCartney is at John's wake. He asks to look in the coffin one last time before they screw it down. He lifts the lid, and sees John inside, tearing up stacks of sheet music
PAUL:
What yer doin' John?
JOHN:
Decomposin'
Linda McCartney dies, Paul goes in to the living room to tell the kids. "I have good news and bad news. Bad news, mum just died. Good news, we're having steak for tea."
Most knock knock jokes are horrid.
"Knock Knock"
"Who's there?"
"C**t"
"C**t who"
"C**t we stop these Knock Knock jokes please?"