Quote: Marc P @ September 5 2008, 1:46 PM BSTUse Beat. Sparingly. NEVER use pause.
Why's that then?
Scripting a telephone conversation Page 3
Just because it isn't used. so using it flags you up a little.
And you get shot,
What should I use instead of pause?
I've only used it in instances where I'd like the actor to actually pause.
PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE don't say BEAT because that word is ... well... pants.
Give us the bit of writing and I'll show you. You can do it in stage directions if you don't want to use beat. Beat shouldn't be used in phone calls anyway.
Try not to give the actors directions how say the lines in the script. Producers don't like to be told how they should read your dialogue and actors don't like to be told how to speak it. The way dialogue is spoken really should only an issue when a director comes into the frame.
Quote: Tim Walker @ September 5 2008, 3:48 PM BSTTry not to give the actors directions how say the lines in the script. Producers don't like to be told how they should read your dialogue and actors don't like to be told how to speak it. The way dialogue is spoken really should only an issue when a director comes into the frame.
I'm not sure that's what his question is to do with Tim. And also sometimes you do have to put a little hint in. Shouln't be very often I grant you.
Quote: Marc P @ September 5 2008, 3:56 PM BSTI'm not sure that's what his question is to do with Tim. And also sometimes you do have to put a little hint in. Shouln't be very often I grant you.
Apologies. I agree that very occasionally you do need to put in directions such as to convey tone or volume. Occasionally I use (BEAT), but only if without it the line isn't as good. Anyway...
KIM
Here's a snippet:
_____________________________
KIM
Thing is, it meant I was free at last. No more punches. My life was my own again. What goes around comes around, I suppose.
(pause)
That's when I decided to pack my things and move here.
_________________________________________
But, yes, I can see now that the (pause) isn't needed there.
I'll change it.
I could always put something like "KIM falls silent for a moment, reflecting" in the directions.
Lol. No pause needed there at all unless she is listening to a reply which she isn't.
I once had a note back from someone who shall remain nameless reading.
One side phone conversation? Never!
Ahem.
But you could still edit your line down there is some repetive stuff there which makes it not read like a real telephone conversation more like an interior monologue. Hard to advise really without seeing the whole phone call.
You could always give her some action and have the phone on loudspeaker mode if you wanted.
Oh sorry. That was KIM talking to someone actually in the room. Not a phone call. Hence the relective silence between her sentences
I thought we'd gone onto pauses in any part of the script.
Quote: Mikey J @ September 5 2008, 4:12 PM BSTOh sorry. That was KIM talking to someone actually in the room. Not a phone call. Hence the relective silence between her sentences
I thought we'd gone onto pauses in any part of the script.
Probably had, lol. In which case.
KIM
Thing is, it meant I was free at last. No more punches. My life was my own again. What goes around comes around, I suppose.
(pause)
That's when I decided to pack my things and move here.
Could be:
KIM
Thing is, it meant I was free at last. No more punches. What goes around comes around, I suppose.
[SHE GESTURES AT THE SUITCASES]
KIM
That's when I decided to pack up my life and move here.
Yeah, that works.
Mind you, I think us writers should have SOME artistic licnse regarding pauses.
I mean, there are LOADS of dramas where someone pauses while the camera edges towards their face, just before they are about to deliver a shocking mother of a bombshell.
When I write a bombshell into the script (which I like doing) I want to make sure they KNOW that a pause has to be there.
You have complete artistic licence, it's your script. If you want some one to make it don't do the directors job is all. Unless you are an auteur of course.
Hide the pause in stage directions etc. Be creative.
And those loads of dramas you refer to, that do that... aren't usually very good are they?
Concentrate on telling a good story not worrying to mch about how it is going to be shot.
Make your dialogue the bombshell.
okeydokey.