To the tune of WELCOME TO THE HOUSE OF FUN by MADNESS:
Original at (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-QnBccG_ChI)
(GRANT WILKINSON singing)
Good morning sir
Can I help you son?
You've come today
With your toy gun
You're a big boy now
Or so you say
You want me to
Make it real today?
Box of rounds?
Will one be enough?
Nine mills will def stop the
Gangsters in a fight
I'll give it a re-spray
Plastic trim
The coppers have turned up
And just walked in
Welcome to the house of guns
Won't you come again
Welcome to the house of guns
Welcome to the factory
Of instruments of pain
Welcome to the house of
N-n-n-n-n-n-no no sir
You misunderstood
I'm an upstanding member of
The neighbourhood
These guns here
Are just for display
I need to go
I bid you good-day
Welcome to the house of guns
Won't you come again
Welcome to the house of guns
Welcome to the factory
Of instruments of pain
Welcome to the house of (fun)
(POLICEMAN singing)
I'm sorry son
But you don't stock
Party gimmicks
In this shop
Come with me my son
Don't you dare try to run
This is a fac-try
Not a toy shop!
You are nicked
Simple enough clear
Comprehende savvy understand
Do you hear?
This pack of machine guns
Is just for James Bond?
Too late!
Saw you doing wrong
Well hello Grant, you're a bit thick
You'll next see me when you're in the nick
Welcome to the house of guns
Won't you come again
Welcome to the house of guns
Welcome to the factory
Of instruments of pain
Welcome to the house of (fun)
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ORIGINAL
------------
Sixteen today
And up for fun
Im a big boy now
Or so they say
So if youll serve
Ill be on my way
Box of balloons
With the feather-light touch
Pack of party-poppers
That pop in the night
A toothbrush and hairspray
Plastic grin
Miss clay on all corners
Has just walked in
Welcome to the house of fun
Now Ive come of age
Welcome to the house of fun
Welcome to the lions den
Temptations on his way
Welcome to the house of
N-n-n-n-n-n-no no miss
You misunderstood
Sixteen big boy
Full pint in my manhood
Im up to date
And the dates today
So if youll serve
Ill be on my way
Welcome to the house of fun
Now Ive come of age
Welcome to the lions den
Temptations on his way
Welcome to the house of (fun)
Im sorry son
But we dont stock
Party gimmicks
In this shop
Try the house of fun
Its quicker if you run
This is a chemists
Not a joke shop!
Party hats
Simple enough clear
Comprehende savvy understand
Do you hear?
A pack of party hats
With the coloured tips
Too late!
Gorgon heard gossip
Well hello joe, hello miss clay
Many happy returns from the day
Welcome to the house of fun
Now Ive come of age
Welcome to the house of fun
Welcome to the lions den
Temptations on his way
Welcome to the house of fun
Welcome to the house of fun...
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Don't know if it works having 2 people involved in the song
And I'd never seen it before. Just thought it fit the story.