WOMAN ON THE STAGE READING FROM A BOOK.
WOMAN
Hello children are you sitting comfortabley? Then I'll begin.
All the people declared Enid Blyton to be their very, most favourite author.
Noddy was driving his car to Toytown, when he saw a very naughty man.
"I know I'll run him over, he is very naughty,"
Noddy mowed down the gollywog...
Er maybe another story children.
"It's the spy, eeurrghh I bet he's working class," said Dick.
"I bet he lives in a council house, like all bad people,"said Julian.
"Lets set Timmy on him," said George
But every one ignored her because she was a girl.
DAVID CAMERON WALKS ON SET.
DAVID
Stop stealing all my policies you beastly oiks.
2
MADONNA IS IN BED GUY RITCHIE JOINS HER.
GUY
'Ello darlin' fancy an Uncle Buck, gor blimey guvnor,"
MADONA
Have you fed the pigs first?
GUY
I blinkin' well have.
MADONA
You may kiss me.
GUY KISSES HER.
GUY
Coor you taste funny, now for some hows your father.
POKES AROUND UNDER THE SHEET.
GUY
'ere Madge where's ya vadge?
MADONNA
Oh I had it removed, how do you like my new ears?
GUY
Bloody 'ell, never mind lets try the Dartford tunnel, ere that's missing as well.
MADONNA
Why do you think my lips were so pursed?
GUY
Gor blimey I've got more chance of penetrating the US box office, than my own bleedin' missus.