British Comedy Guide

Sketch - Tall Blue Shirt

INT. AN OFFICE, ANYWHERE, AT 9.05am. DAY.

TONY IS SEATED AT A COMPUTER. CATH ENTERS, TAKING OFF HER COAT.

TONY:
Morning Cath

CATH:
Hi Tony, you okay?

TONY:
Not bad, yeah. Listen, Cath, do you remember my mate Geoff who came out on Friday? Tall? Blue shirt?

CATH:
Oh yeah.

TONY:
Well, what do you reckon? You like him?

CATH:
(COY) He seems really nice actually. I was asking Gemma about him…

TONY:
Well, he’s been asking me about you.

CATH:
Oh right! What’s he said?

TONY:
Weeeeell, he reckons you’re really gorgeous. Wants to know if you’d like to hook-up with him later in the week.

CATH:
Oh yeah. I’d really like to

TONY:
(PAUSE)Cath. There’s something you should know.

CATH:
What is it?

TONY:
There’s a bit of a problem.

CATH:
Oh? Tony, what’s up?

TONY:
Ok. Look, I wouldn’t say anything but you’ve really forced my hand. It’s the way you are around Geoff.

CATH:
But, I only spoke to him for about…

TONY:
He feels you’re really suffocating him. It’s too much Cath.

CATH:
But Tone, I…

TONY:
Get a grip! It’s like you’re his mother or something.

CATH:
Bu…

TONY:
No, there’s no use denying it, you’ll only hurt yourself more. He says he’s gonna pop round tonight. Pick-up some of his stuff.

CATH:
What stuff?

TONY:
You know, CDs, DVDs, clothes…

CATH:
But I don’t have any of his stuff

TONY:
What about that Maroon 5 CD?

CATH:
That’s mine

TONY:
(CHUCKLES) He said you’d say that. If you remember, he bought it ‘cos you told him it was so good You’d heard it at Gemma’s. He just left it at yours’ and never bothered to take it home.

CATH:
Tony What the h…

TONY:
I know it’s difficult, but it’ll be easier in the long run if you just get this over and done with. No one likes a messy break-up, it’s not nice for anyone. Especially me.

CATH:
What do you mean?

TONY:
What do I mean? I feel like some sort of slave monkey, taking these messages between you. “Tell him this”, “tell her to do that”. Jesus, I have got my own life to get on with you know, not that you two would notice, you never bother to look outside of your own little snowglobe existence.

CATH:
That’s it, I’ve had enough of your insults

CATH STORMS OUT OF THE OFFICE. A MAN - DAVID - IS ENTERING, TAKING OFF HIS COAT.

TONY:
(TO HIMSELF) Women. Oh hi David.

DAVID:
Hiya mate.

TONY:
Listen David, do you remember my mate Geoff who I brought along on Friday..? Tall? Blue shirt..?

ENDS.

Super sketch Scott (that's not easy to say after a few pints I bet) - made me give out a laugh and get a funny look from my assistant! - she thinks I'm bonkers anyway. I think the pacing is pretty much spot on - for me anyway - and like the way it twists around. Good way to end it as well - easy thing would have been for another girl to come in but given a further comical twist. Nice one.

I enjoyed this Scott.

I liked the sort of "preemptive feel" of it and it mad me laugh.

Well presented and as Andy says, nice pacing too.

Good Stuff

Man/Woman have done a similar sketch but with speed dating, it was on last night.

Quote: ajp29 @ February 23, 2007, 12:38 PM

Man/Woman have done a similar sketch but with speed dating, it was on last night.

i wrote it about a year ago and showed it to a mate, who said he'd seen something similar back then. :( oh well.

I really liked this, I haven't seen Man/Woman so I haven't seen what others have mentioned. One of the five best sketches I've read for a while I'd say.

Maybe I'm the only one but I don't get this at all, and I've read it twice now. I do like Man Stroke Woman a lot too!

Dan

Yeah really good sketch, I agree it's one of the best I've seen in a while too. I haven't seen the man/woman version. My only comment is I don't think it needed the twist ending. The sketch had come to a natural end.

Best line was: "(CHUCKLES) He said you’d say that."

....err, in context of course!!

Quote: ShoePie @ February 23, 2007, 2:24 PM

Best line was: "(CHUCKLES) He said you’d say that."

Totally agree, made me laugh loads that one line alone

Quote: swerytd @ February 23, 2007, 2:24 PM

Maybe I'm the only one but I don't get this at all, and I've read it twice now. I do like Man Stroke Woman a lot too!

Dan

Dan, it's just one of those things I guess, sometimes stuff doesn't 'click' and that's fair enough i reckon.

Thanks for the comments everyone, appreciate the feedback.

I personally thought it was great! really good twist at the end

I'm glad most like the ending. I struggle to tie things up with sketches generally, this just happens to be the exception that proves the rule!

Aha thats brilliant, really funny! i dont tend to laugh out loud but i let a giggle out there, nice work ;)

Yeah I liked it too and I got it as meaning that the couple hadn't even dated yet but her colleague was getting ahead of himself and making out that the woman had been a bunny boiler type towards his friend.

It works on the same principle as Catherine Tate's Lauren character when she questions her teacher for example about whether he is gay (although you more then likely didn't have that in mind) in that they tend to get all defensive yet at the same time they don't even know where to start to answer back as the next question or untrue allegations comes at them in rapid-fire fashion and they can’t get a word in edgeways.

I think both ways work in either stopping once the female colleague leaves or having the end twist and with the longer version, as you already know what is coming so it's like you are amused from the start of the next scenario and the same sex angle adds to that too.

I also wouldn't worry to much if something similar has been done as unless it was easily recognisable as a carbon copy, I'm sure people do have similar ideas all the time and OK, I appreciate there are copyright issues but I've often tried to pre-empt how a sketch would end while watching it and come up with a different idea but from the same premise.

Hi Scott! I think you write very intelligently: both the structure of the sketch and the language are sharp and thoughtful. This one didn't make me laugh out loud but I think that there is the potential for this sketch to really get under people's skin (like all great sketches do). My amateur advice would be to make more versions of it, with Tony's lack of logic becoming more manic and destructive with each sketch. Like it.

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