http://petermusgrove.com/2008/08/21/john-lennon-shot-dead-at-67/
Any comments gratefully received as ever. 
John Lennon shot dead at 67
ha ha ha
I love your news reports.
Very, very clever and underplayed your mock news stuff is an inspiration. Ever thought of sending to Viz.
Couple of tiny tweaks saying the guy is stereotypically Jewish feels awkward. May work the other way round e.g. describe him saying oi, ringlets etc, then say you thought he was Jewish. Also a Frum Jew wouldn't have heard about Lennon they generally avoid TV/newspapers etc.
And you miss an easy second punchline where your reporter could mention a second story. e.g. next week America lands on Moon why didn;t they tell us, or Elvis where is he now?
"He closed the door in a very Hasidic kind of way."
Just genius.
You've really got the "tabloid journalist" style or writing down pat.
Agree with Sootyj - strictly speaking Hasids shouldn't own TVs - but still possible he'd have heard about Lennon's death."Yes I know. Get over it already. Shabbat Shalom" sufficiently portrays his lack of interest succinctly either way.
Could change to Orthodox. But then can't use the "closed door Hasidic way" line. 
Given you've introduced him as a stereotype, it might be OK as is.
Very much liked the "arty farty Japanese bird" and the "uncharacteristically quiet" bits.
This is very good. Reminds me of The Chaser and The Onion... in the same league too.
I think the Hasidic stereotype is fine: a) you have artistic licence; b) what's to say the fictional reporter must be accurate in his descriptions all the time?
Nice one Norman. 