British Comedy Guide

Ickle Doggy Song!!!

To the tune of GOING UNDERGROUND by THE JAM:

CHANGED:
Some people will pay good money for a dog
They're not happy with a mouse or frog
People might say that they should get a boar
But their mind's made up – they're really sure

Get a pedigree dog today
Best in its class if you're happy to pay
We've got ones of every kind
For those who want to look more refined
Whatever you want we'll endeavour to find
And the public loves to watch the Crufts
To see the terriers and the pugs

So come to the dog pound (come to the dog pound)
Get yourself a lovely Afghan hound
Come to the dog pound (come to the dog pound)
Bring some dough and you can have a brand new pet by tomorrow

Some people might say the way we breed is cruel
That it's the canine version of Fritzl
People tend to get all angry and irate
But inbreeding is the best way to create
The features that you all love
The wrinkly skin and the really long tongues
So some of them do get quite ill
You can have them stuffed, put on your window sill
Stops taxidermy becoming a redundant skill

And if that dog should prematurely die
Don't get put off – come have another try
Come back to the dog pound (the dog pound)
This bulldog's face is really flat and round
Come to the dog pound (the dog pound)
Bring some dough and you can have a brand new pet by tomorrow

Last night I saw "Pedigree Dogs Exposed"
Turned on the news and my body froze
The barking dog on my TV screen
Made this boy shout, made this boy scream!
Come to the dog pound, come to the dog pound!

---------------------------------------------
ORIGINAL:
------------
Some people might say my life is in a rut,
But I'm quite happy with what I got
People might say that I should strive for more,
But I'm so happy I can't see the point.

Somethings happening here today
A show of strength with your boy's brigade and,
I'm so happy and you're so kind
You want more money - of course I don't mind
To buy nuclear textbooks for atomic crimes
And the public gets what the public wants
But I want nothing this society's got -

I'm going underground, (going underground)
Well the brass bands play and feet start to pound
Going underground, (going underground)
Well let the boys all sing and the boys all shout for tomorrow

Some people might get some pleasure out of hate
Me, I've enough already on my plate
People might need some tension to relax
Mem, I'm too busy dodging between the flak

What you see is what you get
You've made your bed, you better lie in it
You choose your leaders and place your trust
As their lies wash you down and their promises rust
You'll see kidney machines replaced by rockets and guns
And the public wants what the public gets
But I don't get what this society wants

I'm going underground, (going underground)
Well the brass bands play and feet start to pound
Going underground, (going underground)
Well let the boys all sing and the boys all shout for tomorrow
We talk and talk until my head explodes
I turn on the news and my body froze
The braying sheep on my TV screen
Make this boy shout, make this boy scream!
Going underground, I'm going underground!

Alternative 1st lines:

Some people might feel they really need a friend
And they have got lots of cash to spend
People might say that they should get a boar
But their mind's made up – they're really sure

which works best in people's opinions?

Nice one Rob0. It works really well and maintains a clear focus througout. I prefer the alternative first lines, because they set the song up better, and don't bring the dog theme in too early.

Very good if you enter it in TS I may wee through your letter box asI'm hoping they'll use my Underground song this month.

Quote: sootyj @ August 21 2008, 12:30 PM BST

Very good if you enter it in TS I may wee through your letter box asI'm hoping they'll use my Underground song this month.

Oh dear. What did you do with it? It's a song that's annoyingly good for this sort of thing.

But if I have to use "who's that little doggy in the window...the one with the waggly tail" I may have a breakdown

Only kidding.

It's Going UnderBrown in critique somewhere

Funny, I had you down as someone who'd use excrement rather than urine. Based on your convict sketch and improvements to the "deposit" one.

I'd use neither.

Today I'm being Walker Texas Ranger, so I'd probably roundhouse kick i

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