(BTW. Feel free to let me know if I am posting TOO MUCH on here)
INT.HOME:BATHROOM.DAY
JANET IS BEING SICK INTO THE TOILET AND JOHN IS HELPING HER
JOHN:
Jane, are you okay?
JANE:
I think its morning sickness. JOHN I think I am pregnant!
A FEW MINUTES LATER..
JOHN IS BEING SICK INTO THE TOILET AND JANET IS HELPING HIM
Good but more of a sitcom extract.
You trying to beat me for productivity?
How about:
INT.HOME:BATHROOM.MORNING
JANET IS BEING SICK INTO THE TOILET AND JOHN IS COMFORTING HER
JOHN:
Janet, what did you eat when you were out last night?
JANE:
John, It's not that. I think I am pregnant!
A FEW MOMENTS LATER..
JOHN IS BEING SICK INTO THE TOILET AND JANET IS COMFORTING HIM.
Nice visual.
Just for goodness sake don't get sootyj riled else there'll be no room for anyone else's posts!
thanks guys
Garyd seems to have nailed it, but it was good to begin with.
Garyd for the win!
INT.OFFICE.DAY
BEAUMALOW NODS AT HIS COMPUTER IN AGGREMENT
I like the visual ideas you use - can really imagine the stuff working.
garyd's rewrite smoothed out the edges, but the core is 
The added line where he asks what she ate makes it clearer
Yeah it does.
Putting the scenerio from my head to script form can be tricky
Good one.
I find that too - it's the little details that make the core idea make sense. So far I've been pretty lousy at that. But still, as long as the idea's good, it can be made to work!
Had Janet and John books when I learnt to read. I don't remember this bit 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I3JLQXvbApA
To all you Sootyj haters out there.
Good. Both you and garyd.
eh?
Quote: sootyj @ August 20 2008, 1:43 PM BSThttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I3JLQXvbApA
To all you Sootyj haters out there.
Was anyone else hoping to see Soot sing?