THABO MBEKI AND ROBERT MUGABE ARE TALKING.
MBEKI
Robert, my friend, this is getting silly. Is there nobody you are willing to share power with?
MUGABE
Wait one moment, Thabo, my friend, I know the very chap.
MUGABE RUNS OFF STAGE.
MBEKI
Who is it, Robert? Surely not Morgan Tsangverai again?
MUGABE COMES BACK ON, WEARING A SANTA BEARD.
MUGABE
(IN HIGH VOICE) Mr Mbeki, my friend Robert Mugabe told me you wanted to see me. I am Trebor Ebagum, of the, er, Zimbabwean Nice People's Party.
MBEKI
"Ebagum?" Are you from Yorkshire?
MUGABE
(BACK TO NORMAL VOICE) No! I spit on the vile British and their evil mastermind, Gordon Brown.
MBEKI
Wait a minute. Trebor Ebagum? That's Robert Mugabe backwards. (PULLS BEARD) Robert!
MUGABE
Curses. My friend Radovan assured me the beard would work. Great man - taught me everything I know about ethnic cleansing. But you only recognize me because you know my funny little ways. The world will be fooled.
MBEKI
Perhaps, my friend. If not the consequences for you will be great. You will be hounded from office, and then …
MUGABE
Not…?
MBEKI
Celebrity Masterchef.
MUGABE
Aieee!
ENDS
