Last 2 topicals skits today, probably.

EDIT 2

SAKHIEV, SARKOZY AND PUTIN ARE IN A LINE.

SARKOZY

Bonjour Central European my chums, lets negotiate for peace in Georgia. Alle, alle this is the un bon nuit Carla Bruni is going to let me have ze rumpy pumpy.

Georgia you agree to allow the Russians to keep South Ossetia, their troops in your country, and Vladimir Putin can shag your missus.

SAKHIEV

I surrender, we are finished,

STARTS TO CRY.

SARKOZY

Bon, Vladimir you agree to stop killing Georgians.

PUTIN GLOWERS

Ok stop killing Georgians unless they really ask for it.

PUTIN

Da, but they ask for it alot.

SARKOZY

Now I declare peace in our time, and peace of ass in my bed time.

EDIT 2

MCCAIN IS LYING ON THE STAGE 2 ADVISERS RUN ON.

ADVISER1

Mr McCain wake up America needs you, the Russian bear is on the loose in Europe, your country needs you. He's not moving.

ADVISER2

You need to give him a start.

ATTACHES HIM TO JUMP LEADS

ADVISER2

Clear!

MCCAIN JUMPS UP.

ADVISER2

Mr McCain there's a war in Europe and your statesmanlike leadership is needed.

ADVISER1

It's your one chance to beat Obama, he's been in less fights than the Dali Llama.

MCCAIN

My fellow Americans my name is John McCain, and I invented microchips. I spent 10 years in a stinking, hole in the ground in Vietnam. I know what America needs to know.

ADVISER1

How to make peace with our enemies?

MCCAIN

How to get in the shit and stay there.

First is definitely better than the second.

Is that a good thing? I can't get 2 to sit straight in my head

The first one is almost there. I like the idea of Sarkhozy trying to cobble together an unfair peace in a hurry so he can get home to shag the old lady, but you maybe need to make it a bit more explicit that that is his motivation. On my first reading the remarks about Carla Bruni seemed a bit random.

I have a morbid fascination with bad gags.

I still want to make the Bruni/Brown eye work some how.